Hi Rin, Bugs and SL!!!

I miss CJ. She helped a lot of people around here. Where ever you are CJ, I hope you are well and happy!

I took a call from DD a few minutes ago. She finally talked to her Mom a little while driving from work to practice.

They chatted a little about the game and then Wayzilla asks, "Did your Dad come to the game last night?"

DD thought it was a trick. WayZ never asks about me. She told WayZ that I stood right in front of her for a few minutes just before the game started.

WayZ says, "Really? I never noticed him."

Yeah right.

She sends that email just before Thanksgiving and the very first sentence is a lie. Then she lies to her daughter about seeing me at the game. Does it ever end? That is so weird. She no longer has any reason to lie and deceive and yet she does.

It must suck to be a wayward.

Chris,

Do ya think if the wayward can convince 'someone',,,,'anyone',, else that their LIES are the truth, then they feel like they are covered?

That they somehow belive the lie becomes reality when they spew them out and no one calls them on it?

As if by saying it out loud, then it becomes by some special magic something that REALLY happened?

You know it was just her way of finding out if (as she already knew) EVERYONE in the place witnessed how things really went down? She was hoping against hope that it wasn't OBVIOUS to everyone how GREAT you have made your life and how utterly sad & pathetic HER choices have made her life?


How sad.

You are right. It MUST suck.

I have to say, Chris, it's almost painful to read about WZ, her slow descent; it's like a train crash in slow motion. The pain that is then strewn onto the tracks amidst the hapless victims is nauseating.

I was thinking this today; how PWC's choices have hurt him so. I may feel some semblence of pain from his lack of advances, or physical intimacy, but my integrity is intact. I almost feel like my soul is intact. Does any of this make sense. I"M NOT BROKEN! I often wonder how broken PWC is, and if he is avoiding picking himself up. He certainly is not ready to go that deep with me.

I'm lucky (or smart maybe) in that I KNOW what I want, and am unafraid to strive for it, even if that means I have to work hard for it; even if that means I won't always like certain aspects of the journey. Now, more than ever, I know what I want.

Whew! Sorry for the segue into nowhereland. It really just breaks my heart that your DD is still suffering. I want to reassure her that things will change; she will change. I think of my son and his former pain, and how much that tore at my core. I see how ELATED he is with his daddy. It's such a different boy than he was just a year ago. I wonder if DS still has questions about the last two years.

Oh, there I go again. I'm just feeling EMOTIVE tonight.

Post deleted by pomdbd3

Hi Bugs!



Yes I do. She really believes that if she put feces on a palette and painted a still life of roses that no one would see a sh***y picture.

SL, Pomdbd3! Thanks for always checking in.

I was coaching the JV level at a tournament game last night and got home after 10. DD19.978 was already asleep. She called me this morning between classes and told me she went to dinner finally with Wayzilla last night.

DD waited the whole time for the shoe to drop about the giddy “important news”. Wayzilla did not tell her anything. Not a thing. Hmmmm.

DD stopped by bulldozer barn for a few minutes and noticed there were only a couple Christmas decorations up. She asked when WayZ was going to put out the rest of her extensive collection of Christmas regalia and a tree. Wayzilla told her she was not putting out anything else and she “just doesn’t feel very Christmassy this year.” Hmmmm.

So DD jumped right in. “Dad put the tree up right after Thanksgiving but of course there were no ornaments so we went ornament shopping and found some really cool ones and the tree looks really, really great in the new spot where Dad always wanted to put the tree and he got a real nice new wreath and tree skirt and this weekend he is going to decorate the front yard and garden…*exhale – deep breath*…and you should see some of the new art work and stuff he has put up because it’s so cool and it looks like we live in a military museum ha ha because its such a guy place now.”

WayZ: “Well that sounds nice, it sounds like he is happy.”

DD: (Get ready for the applause) “It’s not what he wanted Mom, he’s just moving on.”

Insert hockey announcer, “SCOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRE!!”

Ouch!

DD said she really looked shook up. Poor thing.

So she got everything she was after. Scored on another woman’s husband, his 3-year old son, a bulldozer cottage, her independence so she could “find herself”, half our money, all the Christmas decorations and she doesn’t feel Christmassy? Shouldn’t this be her best Christmas ever?

Oh, and pictures of Gollum and his S3 are in the front room and her bedroom while the pictures of DD19 are in the tiny basement that, “smell like old peoples feet.” Wayzilla never mentioned Gollum the whole evening. Hmmmmm.

I wonder if she ever wonders what Gollum does when he is on his own during the week in Mordor Springs. Surly she can trust him because she is special, right? He wouldn’t cheat on her like he did the mother of his child because she was not special, right? There can be no doubt about his fidelity to her, right? They are special. This is different. Right. Nagging Doubts are ugly hags.

Must suck to be a wayward.

ouch, double ouchy! It MUST suck to be a wayward, INDEED!

What a maroon!

Chris:

I can't believe I'm saying this, but you just might become the plan B champ.

I can see WZ calling you up one day to "re-connect"

That would be an interesting day.

Is it Believer(?) who's Husband, after the D was final, and then the A ended, and now three years later trying to get back with her? I might have the wrong poster, but we know the story.

WZ? Sorry, that ship has sailed.

Unless, it can turn around and sail back. Your choice. And maybe it will. And maybe the only reason you would even ever contemplate it would be because, at that point, you would KNOW that she doesn't suck.

And THAT, is quite the leap.

Isn't LOTR a trilogy? And one leg of this triology has stepped away. Kind of hard for them to balance NOW.

Sad.

Enjoy your coaching. I always had fun doing that. Kind of fun to sit back and watch, now that DS15 is playing football, however.

Eight days to 21 for DD, Huh? She really does sound terrific.

LG

Hi LG.


Yes it is true, my marriage building skills are on par with an Ed Wood movie getting an Academy Award.


It has sailed into shark infested waters, is taking on water and has a U-Boat pack shadowing it.


This is sad. It was not that long ago when the three of us had so much fun together and would laugh at the dining room table until tears were streaming and you couldn't breathe. Then I get the "unhappy for years and years" line.


The Grand Canyon on a ten speed.



Enjoy and cherish every second LG! It goes by so fast.

Thanks for the kind words for DD. She has held her ground through this storm like a British infantry square at Waterloo. She will become DD20 officially on the 15th.

Ok Dennis Miller, now you're just showing off <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

No, Dennis Miller would have made a specific reference to the irresistible force of Milhaud’s Cavalry Corps of Cuirassiers crashing into the fixed bayonets of the immovable object 73rd Black Watch Highlanders formed square.

That would be showing off.

Post deleted by pomdbd3

pomdbd3, my email is on my profile page.

We had a decent practice last night. DD19.980 came by in the last half hour to watch. The boys love her. She helped me close down the gym and I took her out for a soda afterwards. Well yeah, I had a beer.

I have been seeing something very different in her just these last few days. It’s in her speech and the way she carries herself and how she makes eye contact when we talk. She is truly becoming an adult.

We laughed and talked about basketball and her school. Everything was loose and easy and comfortable. Looking at her across the table I realized I was having the first complete adult conversation we have ever had.

Then out of the blue and really for the very first time she honestly opened up about her mother and her feelings. In spite of what you read here, in truth we have talked very little about her mother this past year. I didn’t want to talk about her and if I did DD wouldn’t talk about her. But in what truly felt like a watershed moment she started to share her feelings as an adult.

There was the anger and sadness and disappointment for what she always thought would be, but now will never come. I told her that this can not be the event that defines us and darkens us, but is the event in our lives that we both overcome and grow from.

She talked of betrayal, deceit and mind games from her mother that she feels are still rampant. I told her that in time she needed to share this with her mother and she said that someday she will.

She said she feels guilty about it and intellectually realizes that Gollum’s D3 is the most innocent victim here, but she has strong feelings of resentment towards him. Wayzilla’s pictures at home and their relevant placement in the house hurt DD deeply.

We covered some ground but it was the most she has opened up since D-Day. I will let her take it at her pace.

When we got home she went downstairs to bed and I sat in the dark in front of the lit Christmas tree and reflected on this past year. Who would have thunk it?

She came back upstairs to get a drink of water and saw me there. She came up behind me and gave me a hug and a, “I love you Daddy.” For a minute again I had my baby girl back but it is clear we have reached a new phase of our relationship as a father and a daughter. She looks ready. I hope I am.

I'm touched without knowing exactly what to say.

I think you're doing great, mis amigo, in the face of such an incredible waste. I hurt for DD 19.977 just like I do for you, but I know that you'll both be fine.

The tears welled up in my eyes when I read about you sitting in front of that tree; some for joy, some for the pain.

She will always, in some way, be your little girl. No matter what, I was always my momma's little girl. I was always allowed, by her, to go to that place again, and be comforted. We had a very adult relationship by the time she died, too, and I was still allowed that special place.

I'm so happy that your DD opened up to you. YOU are the safe place, Chris. She can build strength enough to tell these things to WZ over time. This is really great stuff! Give that girl a gigantic hug from me. I'm very proud of her for taking this step.

Chris, I can understand your feelings as a father. I have moments like that as well with mine, she's just much younger than yours, but I see her growing up so quickly. She's reading now and I'm so proud of her.

I relate so much to your DD. I wasn't much older when my parents had their D. I too felt jealousy/resentment when I saw my mom's new boyfriend's pictures up in her house next to ours.

It is tough as an adult kid.

She's done fantastic. She has you as an example of what she needs to be like and look for in a man. There can be no better gift to give a kid than a good example.

I can't understand how someone can walk away from a family like yours.

Best of luck to you, your DD, and your team of kids.

The divorce has been final for 6-months today. The Jimmy Hoffa Plan B from the Dark Side of Pluto continues without a crack. I have not seen or spoken to Wayzilla since last June (I am not counting the night in the gym as I did not see her). There were a couple 1-2 word email responses in July regarding the refinance and of course her attempt to probe the Plan B email at Thanksgiving that went without response.

I assume that Wayzilla would feel more “Christmassy” if I would just snap out of it so we could “be friends” and sanction her skanky adulteress deceitful behavior and forgive and forget the destruction of DD’s family. Well, it ain’t happenin.

My team and I rode a bus through a snow storm Tuesday to play our 3rd game. We came away with a solid 62-47 win over an all sophomore team. They are still undefeated. It was a 2-hour round trip and naturally the bus heater broke down. Not surprisingly I now have my traditional Christmas cold.

DD19.994 got to put her lifeguard training into play the same night at a girl’s tournament game in the Peoples Republic of Boulder. A girl hit her head hard and went into shock with a concussion. DD grabbed coats from the crowd bundled her up and kept her attentive until the paramedic’s arrived. She got a big thumbs up from the paramedics and the doctors at the Boulder County Hospital.

A few months ago I dreaded Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years and thought there would be no celebration this year. But Thanksgiving was great and I am really truly looking forward to the rest of the holidays.

We are going out to DD’s favorite (expensive) restaurant Sunday night for her birthday. It will be a great time.

Rock on, my friend! It really is going to be a wonderful holiday season.

Isn't DD's birthday this week sometime? These numbers are just making my head hurt.

Hi SL.

DD19's official assent to DD20 is Saturday. She has a game to coach in Boulder that I am going to try to make. It is a good chance Wayzilla (unless she is back in Mordor Springs) and Grandzilla will be there. Eeeeehawwww.

When I think back to twenty, WHEW, man, that was soooo long ago. I remember when I was a teenager, and thought being in your THIRTIES was OLD.

WE all know that it's not until 40 that you're really old (like sdguy).

Hey!

My physical therapist was assuring me that 40 is the new 30 (as she poked and prodded my sore shoulder). You don't suppose she was just trying to make me feel better, do you?

Great for DD19.994 on the save. Training is one thing. Application is another. It's a nice confidence builder.

Stay strong, amigo!