i am trying to get my wife to realize what "family" is all about.

brief history of my family is 1 sister, mother (still alive) and father (passed 2002). mother and father stayed together until he passed and she still is not married.

her family:1 sister, mother (still alive) and step dad (passed last year).her mother has not remarried either. her real father divorced her mother when wife were young. the wife just reciently started talking to her real father.

We tend to work thru most of out problems (ie money, and what not). the only thing i would like to see is the relationship between my sister and wife become better.

my sisters kids (1 boy & 1 girl, age 9) suffer from being around their grandmother(my mom) too much. my wife says they do not mind. i discribe them as needing more correction than is given to them, by their mother & father. but i also believe that they are FAMILY and some of the thing that a family does should be overlooked. my wife does not like our 3 girls to be around my sis 2 kids. the kids never fight and play together fairly well. she thinks they are mean to them and i see it as kids being kids. the reason this is titled family is that i want her to have the same relationship with my family that i have had. how do i get her to give in and realize that all i want is for us to be a FAMILY?

a little more history is that my sister and wife had an argument a couple of months prior to my dad passing. it was in my house and my dad saw them arguing.(take it this was while he was on kemo and no in the best shape) i believe that any person that is on his death bed should not be exposed to this. i had to tell both of them to stop and that dad did not need to see this. it is my belief that my wife still has held a gruge about this argument. she says that she does not, but to this day you can still see the tention in the room. this is not the atmosphere that i grew up in. my sister is like me and would except a apology and would also give one if my wife would just come around and be a friend.

also i have a very good relationship with her family and get along with all of them.

this conversation has led to the "D" word a couple of times, but i will not let that happen. i am intent on working on the problem and trying to come to a reasonable solution.

please help,
stymous