S.D. & Dear MiMi
Thank you so much for your posts.
I will listen to the fabulous responses, the fantastic people here given me. Please be patient with me, for these are extremely unsteady waters I tread.
And I am feeling extremely unsteady myself. I feel like I want to peel my own skin off! YUK!

Thank you all!

Dear Cin,

Thank you for helping me. I know, I know!
It is just so over-the-top right now!
OUCH, this really hurts.
Bear with me if you can?

PGA

Yelling and screaming HELPS...at your point...

I did a lot of that while driving in the car...

Dear Mimi,
Can I borrow your car?
And some kleenex?

I am still interested in the complaints that your husband has. Do you see anywhere that you need to make changes? Or do you think he is rewriting the history of the marriage to justify something he is doing wrong?

Now you need to get quiet with your H. Play dumb about the phone conversation and gather your information.

Also, like Believer is saying, share more with us about your marriage.

Please answer the questions I asked you when you get settled.

I may not be back until in the morning though.

Dear Believer,

I completely know the problems I have caused in the marriage.appologized for my own misgiving/ malfuntions/ sins, I have ! Albeit, I may have dicovered MB too late, I have gone through most of the website marriage helpers, ie save your marriage, Mort Fertel, etc...
My husband has never been interested, I have presented the His needs / Her needs quetionnaire, asked, pled, begged for any response, and wait here it is!... The problem is yours, I'm happy the way things are"
Well, If he was so Freaking Happy, why am I facing weeks of antibiotics!
Me thinks ther is NO happy ending for me!

Chrisner emoticon: :->>>>>>>!

Mimi,

Should I not bring it up again?
What if he has some "I am about to puke now" disease?
I have no idea what to think or feel, actually, I am numb!
If someone were to stick a fork in me, I would not feel it!
Thank you, may I have another!

THIS STINKS!

Thank you all for your great advice.
Have a wonderful evening!

PGA

Here's a fork...:)

Settle down!

Your marriage did not reach this stage overnight, nor is is going to be fixed overnight.

You cannot remain this hyper emotional and deal with your H in a rational manner.

Your emotions will betray you in your efforts, so please, please take NO further actions with your H until you have read Surviving an Affair, and, you post what you plan to do here before "cutting off your nose to spite your face" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

These forums can help you be exacting in your steps, whereas if you fly by the seat of your pants, you'll end up in a bigger mess than currently exists.

Baby steps, girl! Baby steps!

Breathe deeply...
SD

Well, it is much too early to tell whether you can work on changes to make the marriage better. Also we don't KNOW that he has been cheating.

I'm suspicious, but that is it. He may have moved to the other room because he is afraid he has contracted something.

Try to think if there is any female he talks about or is around a lot. If there is an other woman, it is usually someone he works with. But it could be a neighbor or a friend.

You will need to get checked out by your doc, like we all did. It's embarrassing, but most docs have heard it all.

Thank you all!
I will address you indiviually:

SD: You are Correct: my marriage did not reach this stage overnight. It has taken it's toll on both of us for years. I accept full responsibility for my part, and have said the same thing to him, over and over again.
Beleiver: I suspect, what I suspect. The phone conversation only makes it more suspecting. I plan on getting a FULL exam soon. (HMO plan: not very quick on the response)

Would someone please tell me what "you" would do?

PGA

We have been telling you. We have just omitted some of the things we did that were knee jerk reactions, and stuff we did without the knowledge of the MB program.

You are getting the Cliff Notes version though, and NEED to put everything on hold until you read Surviving an Affair. Yes, it is THAT important!

No confrontations, no conversations, no accusations. You now go into stealth mode, and become EDUCATED on how to proceed, so there are NO MISSTEPS!

Do the snooping, but hold ALL evidence or red-flag activity to yourself until you share it with people here on the forum who will give you MB based advice on how to proceed.

Get some sleep...this process will take enough a toll on you as it is, and sleep deprivation will only make you more prone to mistakes. When you have time tomorrow, go back and re-read all these posts to you, and take time to think about the content. There is a great deal of good advice here, but you need to be in a proper state of mind to absorb it all, as this is all new to you, and you, frankly, are in a state of shock.

Baby steps!
SD

Thanks SD,

Didn't get much sleep last night, what a surprise.
Things are not looking to clear right now. I guess I'll just have to wait and see what he says when I get home tonight.
I did go back and re-read all the posts, and I guess I shouldn't have said anything to him, cause now he has all day to come up with a "story". I'm sure his story will make "perfect" sense, and I'm just "crazy".
Yuck, I hate this.

PGA

Have you bought and read "Surviving an Affair" yet? That's the #1 priority right now. Don't do anything rash that you may regret. Lay low, learn, and arm yourself with the proper information to go into battle. You have plenty of support right here on these forums.

SD

Okay, I just got home. He was sitting in the garage, in his usual M.O., watching TV, drinking beer.
He did not ackonowledge me, what-so-ever.
Do I say something, or just let it go? I am shaking right now.
What do you pros think?

PGA

Let it go for now, until your are better prepared for battle...You need time for reading, and snooping. Earn an emmy award for "acting" normal until you are prepared to do battle!

You can do this!
SD

Thanks SD,
I am so not prepared for battle. I will go for the emmy!, I can do this without acting like a total a$$!
I prefer: "I think I can , I think I can can, I think I can"
Just the mom in me coming out!
on wayard!

PGA

Good girl!