This past weekend Mr. W and I were recalling our first Cinco De Mayo together and laughing about it...

Years ago, we were eating at a Mexican restaurant where they were advertising their upcoming Cinco De Mayo celebration...I should point out that I had never taken Spanish, but Mr. W had...I commented to him that we should come back and celebrate there, and then I pondered outloud that I didn't know when Cinco De Mayo was, and inquired if he knew...With a totally straight face he said, "I think you should ask our waiter when it is!" So I did...I said, "When is Cinco De Mayo?" The waiter grinned and said simply "Cinco De Mayo"...I said, "Right Cinco De Mayo, when is it?" He displayed a wider grin and replied once again "Cinco De Mayo"...Finally Mr. W burst out laughing and explained to me that Cinco De Mayo meant "May 5th"...Did I ever feel like an idiot, but I too got a good laugh at my own expense...

Why am I sharing one of my MANY "blonde moments" you may ask...Well that is a small part of "our history"...A history that would have been forever lost had I have continued in the affair and left our marriage...It pains me greatly to think about all that we almost lost because of my selfishness and stupidity...

I've posted many times here within the threads of others how Mr. W was able to cause a very foggy me pause by telling me that our history would be lost if we were to split up...It was one thing that DID penetrate my fog and cause me to think...It created a good type of conflict within me...It made think about just what I would be throwing away...Good and even bad memories...All still a part of us, and with no us, even though the memories would have remained, they would have been tainted and there would have been no one to share them with...I began to think about what a wonderful labor coach that Mr. W had been...I thought about our wedding and the beautiful pictures of us from it...Silly inside jokes...Our dd's first words, steps and even her illnesses...All things that bound us together...All things that I would be trashing if I left...It actually caused some fondness for Mr. W to resurface...fondness that I had buried due to the affair...It opened some communication between the two of us and even gave us a few desperately needed laughs...

So while I think that trying to educate a WS about affairs is ill advised, I do think that the mentioning of your shared history is a good, even great, thing...It certainly was for me...for us...I am grateful EVERYDAY that I still have Mr. W and am able to reminisce with him and thoroughly enjoy all of the history that makes us, well, us...

Thanks for reading, I sincerely hope that this may help someone here...I'd love to hear if this was the case for anyone else here or of any other things that seemed to penetrate the fog...

Mrs. W

MrsW:

Hear Hear.

I realized this early on during my A.

The history would not be there with OW.

An I spit on our shared history during the A. To the extent that that 5 years is tainted.

We are creating new ones however.... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

LG

ummmm, I just want to know where Mr and Mrs W celebrate cinco de Mayo up north?? TACO BELL??

Dear Mrs W,

Happy Cinco de Ocho!

PGA

We didn't celebrate it at all this year cuz Pretty Boy, er I mean, Mr. W had his teeth professionally bleached that day! He could only eat "white food"...LOL! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

We have "Mexican Town" up here Mel!!! Lots of little ethnic burrows in fact! Taco Bell INDEED! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

I know what ya mean LG...I'm grateful that my affair "only" encompassed a few months...still sucks though! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/teary.gif" alt="" />

PlansGoneAwry...Thanks and BWAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Mrs. W

My H said this over and over, too...

"YOU HAVE MY HISTORY"...

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I think you mean, "Ocho de Mayo" - but that's okay, it's the thought that counts!
Mulan

very nice post Mrs W
thanks for sharing

I appreciate it

Oucho on Ocho de Mayo
Lake from up North

Shared history - 29 years of it soon was a major factor for MrsK.

That was a wonderful post, Mrs. W.

Thank you.

Thanks for posting this.

My M didn't end over an A, but he had an R (as did I) post Separation.

We're both single again (well I am, he's still got phone calls coming from GF 2000 miles away...)

I've tried approaching reconciliation before (and went about it the wrong way) so I'm working on Plan A with a 180 currently.

Recently we had a family dinner for DS b'day and it was soooooooo good to all sit together again, and quip silly little inside jokes like we used to do. We did this right up til the D, but upon the D I ended that practice as I felt it was just creating false hope. I couldn't exactly Plan B (we own a business together) - but social contact ended then.

Now circumstances are different and I'm back to trying Plan A to entice him to come home (at some point - it would take some time, dating and MC before we got to that point, IF it gets to that point...)

But your post struck a very familiar chord with me. We still have so much in common, so much history and so many little inside jokes and things that his (x?)GF couldn't have even begun to understand.

I'm hoping those little things work their magic and work on him to want to work his way back home.

Thanks for posting that - it's inspiring <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

JinGA