Well, i am pretty darn new to this site, and i am hoping that i can get conclusion from my question. I recently found my wife's cell pone accounts and picked up that she had text and fone contact with a guy from work (285 time in 2 and a 1/2 months). I cornered her on the issue and at first she denied it, and then said it was jus friends. Do i believe her? Am i being a fool to believe that it was just friends? help needed

ami being a fool single choice
	yes
	no
Votes accepted starting: 05/11/07 12:00 PM
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Yes.

Even if it is 'just friends' at the moment, it will quickly turn into something else. Speaking from experience, you will want to believe what she says and hope the issue goes away. It won't. It's a symptom that all is not well with your relationship.

Read about emotional affairs here and get a copy of the surviving an affair book. Put it into practice soon.

Good luck!

If it's "just friends" (BTW, that's one of the standard responses listed in the "How to Gaslight My Husband - The Standard Operating Manual for WWs"), I'm the Queen of England. She's cheating on you Jonde, and the only questions now are how much, and what are you prepared to do about it.

Jonde...find a place mentally and emotionally deep within yourself and get ready. Also get some friends together. You need to prepare yourself for the worst. I'm so sorry, brother. I really am. I think you know the answer already, or you wouldn't be posting here.

Time to put the recorder in the car and get the truth that she is heavily involved in an affair.

Absolutely.....an affair. I am a rare believer that people of the opposite gender can "just be friends." But how many of your friends do you feel the need to have 285 text messages in 2 1/2 months.

Read this site thoroughly, you already know the truth, that's why you're here. And it is the best possible place for you now.

Who

Jonde, i concur with the rest. And you also know it. She is definately more than friends with this person. And like all WS, she will deny deny deny. "we are just friends" is the most common phrase....sorry.

Yup, I just found txt msg last week from OW on H cell. Told me "old friend". 3 days later, I filed for D. I thought I could make our M work until this. Finding txt msg led me to other discoveries as well.

My husband did exactly the same with a co worker. I heard "just friends", "leave her out of it", "she has nothing at all to do with our problems" for a week after I found out about his 3 month affair. At first I wanted to believe him, but when he saw no problem with continuing the relationship even though it hurt me, I looked further. There were 3 or 4 call from his cell everyday as well as contact thruogh his job. I called her and she let me know they were not just friends, although I did not learn how far the relationship went until weeks later.I not only felt betrayed and stupid, but one of the hardest parts in our recovery (we've reconciled and there's a lot to work through, but most of the time the marriage is really good now)is that I felt he was being so intentionally cruel in the way he denied the relationship, and his refusal to end it until I gave him an ultimatum. I felt he not only didn't love or respect me enough to be faithful or at least honest, but he could replace me so easily with his "phone a friend"after 10 years and 3 children. If your wife's friend is "just a friend" make sure she ends it now! Dr. Harley is so right about how important it is to communicate with your spouse and how dangerous it is to talk intimately with someone outside of the marriage. There's a post from "longhorn" on 5/13/06 that says all this so well. It helped me see some things I missed and feel less stupid becauseI'm not alone. Also helped me see my husband as less cruel because his responses were textbook as well. Talk to your wife before it's too late! God bless and good luck!

Jonde, Listen to me good on this one. I discovered a cell number on our cingular statement that didn't look right. There were numerous calls along with the text messages. The text messages along were un-believable occuring at odd times of the day & night. All this developed right under my nose for two f-ing years. If it doesn't look right then question it. My wife denied there was anything going on until I found a buisness card with the cell # on it. Follow the path. Marriage in recovery (difficult but working)

Make sure you read the cell bill on-line so she can't intercept it and throw it away.

You should be able to read the text messages also.

Remember, when confronted with proof, they become aliens and deny everything no matter what.