Hello
I would just like to say that I am feeling a bit better (less desperate?) than yesterday and day before yesterday and slightly more relaxed.
I even managed to have a good night’s sleep (by myself) and “proper” lunch.
Thank you for sharing your ideas with me: I have tried to process these ideas and the impression I am left with, also based on what I have managed to read elsewhere in this site, is that you all believe one is able to steer one’s feelings in the direction we want.
I am correct that this is the general idea here?
Thank you
Feelings are fleeting. They come and go. They lead us to do stupid things. They are chemical rushes to the brain that temporarily make us feel good. They are not real.
Love is a choice. If you choose to nurture your love with your husband, the chemical rushes will come back from time to time and they won't be mixed in between feelings of extreme guilt and pain. Life will be much more fulfilling if you nurture your love with your husband, you just need to choose to do the work necessary to cultivate the love and good feelings. If you like blooming plants, you could either water, fertilize, and prune the original plant, or you could neglect the plant and just by a new one every week. The choice is yours.
9 months ago, I wasn't in love with my wife, and she obviously wasn't either (to the point she had an affair). Well, I put in the difficult work by myself for 6 months, and it motivated her to finally work on the M the past 3, and we feel more in love with each other than we have in probably years.
