I truly think that there is a huge possibility that my FWH/WH is talking on pay phones with the OW - using a calling card... Which - I seriously doubt that I can crack... short of actually finding the card - which I have looked for repeatedly.

I do know her house number and cell number...but even IF I could obtain call records... I don't think an incoming call comes in as much more than an incoming call... I believe she has Sprint..

FWH/WH recently told me -- he sees nothing wrong with married people talking on the phone with a person of the opposite sex... the old *friends* thing... of course I gave him my best MB philosophy about it... but he is

so sneaky
so sharp

doing this for soooo long

As most here know - I have never actually found any of this out... but way more than enough info.. to know the truth...

Not sure what to do -- in my heart, if I do find out that they are still talking - I would have to walk away...

But ~ HOW do I find this out -- him denying and being so very very sneaky.....


I may be losing alot of sleep for nothing... but my radar is up !!!

thank you for any help that you can give

Can you put a voice activated recorder in his car? Aren't most payphones nowadays set up so you can drive right up next to them to talk?

IF he is recharging the same calling card over and over, he just may have used a credit card to do so. Once they memorize the numbers, they don't want to do it again, so he just might have recharged using the credit card. He probably won't have the actual card, maybe look for unusual
800 phone numbers he may have written down, of course followed another series of numbers. If he used his credit card, the credit card company will put you in touch with the folks who took the call, tell them you lost the numbers, they will give them to you. They will tell you how many minutes he used and has left. The XOW used a card to call my H and it always showed "Atlanta call" with a phone number attached, if you called the number it was a recording of it being a prepaid service. It showed on our nextel bill. If you can get the phonecard numbers, the card company will probably give you the details of its use.

Good luck on that.

Now, ya'll know I did this, right?? All but a detail,
I found out how many minutes were on his card and called my Mama to burn them up

Check for an extra sim card for his cell phone, they usually
open the phone and staxh it in there. They interchange them so their calls on that sim card don't show up on their own bill, Many times it's one from her plan, no secret phone, but a secret sim card from it..

And no, My H didn't pull this one

Ok.. here is the kicker.... well, one of them - He is a long distance truck driver... alot of unaccounted for time and access to millions of phones...

I would not put it past him to have an extra sim card...

He had fuel cards that I THINK can double as a calling card... I have checked these numbers in the past... but never ever come up with anything..

Of course - and I know this - this is just the tip of the iceburg...I am very well aware about the importance of the health of our relationship...sometimes I think we are on the same page... sometimes I think um... no

It is just that the same ole crap is coming up ~ again... and IF this is still going on....

HOW do I find out ???

If I could set a trap - I would... but, what would that be saying about me ?... him? ... us ?

I truly know how it SHOULD be... but not sure about anything right now...


Is this the way the rest of my life is going to be ??

(never mind... I just answered my own question)

I will finally have my answer -- this should work

For those who know the whole dragged out mess....

I am going to disguise my voice - call from a pay phone.. thereby it will show up on her caller id as a pay phone.. him being on the road.... and ask -- will you accept a collect call from WH !!!!!

If she says yes.... there is finally my answer !!!

ok -- IF she says yes -- then what ?? do I take the opportunity to say what ???

Help please... this may be finally it... one way or another... so proud of myself for thinking of this....

bump ^^^

Help please, will this work ???

Not necessarily. What if she accepts just on a whim?

I wanna think about this some more and help you figure out another way. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Carnation, its been a little over 2 yrs since my h and the XOW had a phone conversation and if she got a call like that, she would pee her pants to accept it hoping for another chance with him. This could cut both ways...I don't know if it would tell you anything.

Thanks Meggy !!! I do remember reading your whole story - surely you can think of something <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Brief history ~ neither she nor he will even ADMIT to knowing each other, much less an LTA

WH being a huge conflict avoider - me, not so much

any suggestions if I do this - how to disguise my unmistakable voice ?? I could have someone else call, but I so want the satisfaction of hearing her say yes... (well, not sure - yikes)

Thanks Meggy - ask any question -

I feel honored <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

22 - Thanks for the replies and the help...

I just think that if I can pull this off- voice thing and pay phone thing, and she accepts - I pretty much have my answer..

if yes ~ what do I say ?? hang up ?? at that point the gig is up in my book...

if no ~ perhaps I can give this a rest for now... but it has to be a REAL no.. not like she has caught on to it...

thanks again for the replies <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

If she denies knowing him, i think I'd try it. No one accepts a collect call from an unknown. If she says "yes"
if it were me, then I'd confront her, that way when H comes home or calls again, you'll know if she told him what happened, it will get you your answers, either way.

Carnation...

Just came across your thread here (think we're both in DFW).

Even if she accepts the call, that proves that she knows him but doesn't tell you anything about what may or may not be going on now.

I'm all for snooping but maybe take a bit to come up with a better way that will net you some real info...what happens if it has been over for a long time but she accepts anyway and you confront your H...he's going to deny regardless won't he? Won't really tell you much without proof.

I really like the voice recorder idea. I've read some stories of some good catches that way...

**Edited to add: I have been asked to perform my day posting assistant duties...Ace has rung her bell and informed me to post this for her.."the collect phone calls I've gotten in the past few years were from an automated system, not an operator."

Hi Carnation.... just want you to know that I got some info from someone who has been in your shoes... she said to please let you know that the collect phone calls she has gotten in the past few years were from an automated system, not an operator. She would be so busted and it would backfire.

hope it isnt too late.... good luck and God Bless... LIC

Hi MAZ -- thanks for replying.

I mean, neighbor -- south of Fort Worth


you are right, if she accepts it only tells me that she knows him... but, since the two of us had phone talks a couple of years ago about this very subject - and she does accept - I will ask her why is she taking a call from my husband ?? and then...

He is just so good at this... and it (I believe) has been going on for soooo long.. and just once - I would like some validation - somehow

thanks for replying and I need all the help I can get .. feel I am getting close though

thanks Lost --

hey, I can sound like an automated system...

just need to know what it says...

Carnation,

IMHO, you are investing too much time into trying to ID the OW. Would you like some ideas to funnel all that adrenaline and get some useful info?

If the WS and OW won't confess and you need confession:

1. Get a plan - write it down as needed.
2. Learn how to plant the seeds of doubt regarding the A.
3. Learn to reverse babble.
4. Learn how to make the OP and WS - LB from afar without you lifting a finger. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

L.

Thanks so much L ... I am all ears.....

Carnation,

Didn't I post this stuff to you a long time ago? Can you please go back and review some of your older threads?

thanks,
L.

OH, I didn't realize they won't even admit to KNOWING each other. You would have your answer then cause why would she say yes to accept a collect call from a STRANGER?