NOT, forgive me if I missed this somewhere, but what's your story? Were you the leaver or the leavee? What have you told your own children about what happened to you?

BTW, we are not talking about tomorrow here, we are talking about what to do to help the children cope and learn NOW. What my son does in the future is irrelevant to this current topic.

notashoped, you sound a bit foggy to me.

Read Notashoped's other posts.

I think he is in the wrong forum (infidelity) and projecting his own sitch onto (first) LilSis and then making generalities that just don't fit with families torn asunder by infidelity.

By the way - LilSis - you had a GREAT response. My hat is off to you.

Not:

Maybe you didn't really intend it, but you started a conversation.

Conversation and examination of an issue is always a good thing. Happens around here alot.

Heck, even I've learned a few things.

I hope you have learned a few things with this thread. Some other perspectives that can help you understand this issue a little better.

Sometimes we just believe differently about a subject, and that's ok.

We could agree on 100 things and not agree on the issue in this thread. Doesn't make you a bad guy. Makes you human. I could throw something out here tommorrow and you could disagree with me violently, or agree passionately.

When Larry 178 (or frognomore?) started his thread a couple of weeks about telling the kids, he was against telling them, and he learned some perspective from it. Ultimately, he still didn't want to discuss it with his kids, but he explored the issues.

That's how I look on many of the threads around here. Can I learn something from them, even indirectly?

Is the thread expanding my knowledge in some way? If yes, then it's a good thread. (At least to me!)

So, notashoped, understand that your comments did touch some nerves, with alot of folks here.

Thanks for starting the conversation...

LG

Great responses Lilsis!!!