I am living together with my common law wife, now for about 4 1/2 years. I do not want to get married to her now, but would if one day everything was really good. Sadly though, it is not and has not been - ever really.
When we met, I had been separated from my ex-wife for about 18 months, but was still going through "withdrawal" if you will, from the emotional stress. My ex-wife cheated on me back in 1997 and I wanted to try and hold things together and make out lives good again. We have been married for over 10 years at that time. We separated in late 2000 - we were eventually divorced in 2006. I have always loved my ex-wife and probably still do, but I finally now see that I never want to be with her ever again. Our relationship had become very toxic and she continued to use me, and eventually I ended up diagnosed with major depression and was hospitalized in early 2002 after an attempt at suicide.
I met my girlfriend in 2002 and when my ex-wife found out about me dating someone (we were separated and she was dating) she went wild and she told me that she would make me pay, and she would hurt me like I had never hurt before! Needless to say, about a year later I was left with my business put into receivership, my personal and business finances totally bankrupted, no job, income or career left, no home and she turned my three children ages 8, 12 and 14 against me and did not let me visit them.
I was left with no place to go and ended up with my now common law wife in part beccause I needed a place to stay. Since them I have tried to rebuild my life and new career but without much success. I have been forced from what I knew and loved in my business in the country, to the city where I do not fit in very well. I am limited by both my physical and emotional health by what I can do career wise and what I can handle stress wise.
I am at the point after almost five years that I do not want to waste my time anymore. I do love this woman, but not the way that I should or want to. She has gained about 60 pounds since we first met and she does not take care of herself very well. She does not dress nice, do nice things with her hair or makeup, does not exercise or eat properly. It seems that everything that she is interested in, I am not - and everything that I am interested in, she is not.
She is also the biggest procrastinator in the entire world. She will not do anything until it is almost too late to do so. Part of what I do is work with her in business part of the time. I can't stand it how she leaves everything until the very last minute. I have talked to her about this until I am blue in the face and I just cannot stand so many things anymore. I keep talking to her about what bothers me and about what I think we need to be doing and she agrees, but then nothing changes after we have agreed upon it.
What makes this extra hard for me is that we now have the most beautiful baby girl, who just turned one year old. She is such a gift and I enjoy so much being in her every day life. I can't bear to think about not being with her each and every day. I need her and I like to think she needs be to help her and guide her and protect her.
I feel so unfulfilled, very unloved by my CL wife, very unappreciated for all that I do and what I know.
I don't really know what I should do - everything seems so uncertain.
yes (67%, 2 Votes)
|
no (33%, 1 Votes)
|
