Its been around 4 months since I last posted. Three years since D-day. I'm trying to move on with my life and I though I was doing okay. I knew my WxH is going to marry the OW on July 7, 2007. They picked that day because of the three 7s, they said its lucky. There going to need more that luck.

In my mind I tell myself this is a situation I can't do anything about and if he wants to marry a woman who played so many games to seduce and malipulate my husband and cared nothing about about her own marriage vows, well its his life to throw away. I deserve better than a weak man.

My in-laws who I'm very close with went to Flordia for two weeks and I'm taking care of their house. In the mail today was my WxH and the OW's wedding invitation. I'm pretty sure the OW knew I will be getting their mail and I will be seeing their wedding invite.

I don't understand why this has shaken me so. Maybe its the reality that they are actually getting married. Plus I was hoping one day my WxH would come out of his fog, even though if he ended up at my front door today, I probably would not take him back. Maybe its because and I hate to say this that the OW saw something she wanted and went after it and got it. I like to believe in karma or what goes around comes around, but it looks like she succeed in getting her way, no matter how many lives she had to destroy to get it.

Seeing the invitation has just made me sad, its like our many years of marriage never existed. It seems I wasted my whole adult life on a man who can leave me for a woman that doesn't have any moral values and still playing games.

HD2, it sounds as if part of you was still waiting for your ex to see the light, and try to come back to you. Now, because you do value the sanctity of marriage, that little hope is gone.

I look at it as an opportunity for closure. Now you can let the idea of a reconciliation go and really get on with your life.

Consider that the issues he had before are now hers to deal with until one of them gets bored with the other and steps out again.

You know from coming here, that without addressing the issues not just from his first marriage, but hers as well, they are in for a rough time and that statistically it probably will not last. It could, but well...history does have a way of repeating itself unless we make a conscious effort to make sure it won't.

Sooly

Because it does.

It will hurt for a long time. You got rejected, deceived, made crazy by a bad person and his affair partner.

I'm looking at it this way: Their joy over having a wedding was a little incomplete unless they could inflict pain upon you with it. Your pain was the missing ingredient in their wedding cake.

Pretty pitiful, huh? They still cannot do without you. Flat little relationship they are about to consecrate. Ever realize you had such power?

I read somewhere online that it doesn't matter how long you been separated or how much you have moved on with your own life it will always hurt when an ex marries.

I don't want him back, I don't like the man he has become. I guess it hurts since he told me he will never marry her, or hurts because our friends and family will be at his wedding or maybe it hurts cause the OW finally achieved her goal.

My WxH and OW have now put together a website for family and friends. I don't know why I went to the site but I did. First, for a couple you said it was "God's will" they are together and they found a church they attend in Vegas, they are not gettting married there but a casino. Personally I don't have a problem with that, but when we got married we were married in a chapel and by a minister.

What really got me is their wedding song by Rascal Flatts. "Bless the Broken Road". and the lines.."Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars..Pointing me on my way into your loving arms..This much I know is true..That God Blessed the broken road...That led me straight to you." They make themselves as long suffering broken hearted people who didn't know true love until they found each other. That hurts. Believe it or not. my WxH tells me that how he loved my loyality and how I had such wonderful and beautiful spirit and to never change, but yet I was the northern star that led him straight into her loving arms, it was more like the snake that slither into our lives.

My MIL tells one day karma will visit them and one day they will have to face God for what they have done.

Since I don't have any family, my in-laws are all I have. They tell me everyday how much they love and treat me like their daughter. I'm truly blessed I have them in my life. The OW might be with them for holidays but I know I have a place in their hearts and that is something she can not control.

I have decided to get some girlfriends together and go out and have my own celebration on the 7th of July.

HD2,

I think a night out with the girls is a great idea!

Consciously and subconsciously, they are doing things that hurt your feelings. One thing that may be happening here is that you feel strongly that Kharma will get them. A wedding, three years later could be disspelling what you thought would have occurred by now. The more you feel that they are going to "get theirs," the more that (hope?) becomes a part of you. Proof that it isn't going to happen takes a part of you away and that hurts anyone.

Time. That's what it takes, and I hate waiting to heal. I feel that I need to move more and more to "I don't care what happens with her." That way, I don't take joy in her failures or feel bad with her successes.

So, don't worry about them getting theirs. It looks like HD2 as a target is part of their "self-image" as a couple. Removing yourself as a target brings them one step closer to having to deal with each other exclusively. They may make it work (this site tells us that the odds of that happening are quite low). When that doesn't matter, their alleged successes will not hurt one bit.

Have a great time! And celebrate you and the nurturing relationships that you have with family and friends.

Giles

Giles,

You are so right, its all about saving their "self image." Sadly, I think they believe that image about themselves, but brokenhearted?. Sometimes I don't know if my WXH even cried over the marriage or mourned our relationship. The OW made sure we wouldn't get back together by secretly moving them to Las Vegas and serving me with a Vegas divorce.

Over the past three years, I'm the one who was abandoned, cheated on , and lied to. I'm the one who had to call family and friends and tell them about the separation and then the divorce. I'm so glad I had found MB and you help me with the correct way to exposed the A and also through the tears. Since they decided not tell anyone where they lived, all we knew was a Vegas rented mailbox location and a 800 voice mail telephone number, it was hard for them feel the affects of the exposure. They have been secluded from everyone til this past holiday season and now wants everyone to celebrate them.

In the three yeaers, I became stronger and wiser. His family and friends respect me on how well I handle this situation. His family knows what kind of person I am and its shows in the way they love me and want for me to continue to part of their family. My MIL wants me to find someone who is deserving of me and she told me he will be welcomed into the family. That's something the cheaters can not control.

Over this past Christmas when they decided to return home for the first time, they didn't want his family to have any contact with me while they were there. So I guess I'm still on their minds.

His family decided to have Christmas with me before they arrived and its funny the cheaters didn't cross my mind at all. Its probably hard to believe to them, but we rarely even mention them at family gatherings. By the way my in-laws did call me (against WxH wishes) on Christmas Day and told me how much they miss me and wanted me there.

HD, I like Giles advice. It’s not good for you to be waiting around for them to get their comeuppance. It has a negative effect on you and doesn’t really affect them.

I agree their wedding song is a rather tacky choice. It shows a lack of respect for the institution they are about to enter again by dissing their first marriages. My marriage stunk, but I would never use that song. The way I handle stuff like that is to imagine I’m watching a soap opera spoof, or some sort of satire. Then, I can laugh at it.

I’ve been bouncing back and forth whether I should mention this or not. I’m pretty sure you won’t like my thought, but I’ve decided to put it out there. Could it be that spending so much time with your in-laws is making it harder for you to get over your ex-husband and the loss of your marriage? It’s one of those things that could go either way: It could help or hinder or both but at different times. Just a thought.