I am in desperate need for advice. My husband and I have been married for less than a year, but have been together for 3 years. We have a 1 year old, and I am currently 6 mos pregnant. This week, he told me of a situation at work, (he is a contractor that visits different job sites every day) where a woman sent him a secret admirer note w/ her # attached. He said he tore it up and threw it away. Something told me to do some digging. I found a strange # saved in his cell contacts, under a male name mind you, so I called it. Under some freak circumstance, when I called it, it threw me right into this girl's voicemails. I heard my husband leave 2 messages for her. The first said ''I'm very flattered, and think you are a sexy sexy beautiful beautiful woman, and would love to hear from you, give me a call.'' He told me he never laid eyes on the woman. If he didn't then how can she be ''sexy/beautiful''? The 2nd message said, hey I'm working at your offices again today, give me a call back I'll be in the area. I ended up getting ahold of this girl, she was very calm with me and said that she was angry, b/c during their last conversation, she wanted to go meet for drinks. He said he couldn't because he had something to do with his daughter. *actually he had a movie date with me* The woman asks about 'the mother', and my husband said, "oh the mother lives with me." She asked if he was married, and she claims that my husband replied ''uhh...no well I'm kinda stuck in a situation right now, trying to get out of it'' When I confronted him he said he never said that, but he did admit to calling her, but said he definitely told her he was married during their last convo. My question is, why would he have even brought up the situation to me in the first place? Did he want to get caught? And more so, why would he compliment another woman, call her/speak to her twice, while I'm pregnant, when he says he loves me and wants to be with me forever? Do you think the other woman made some parts up b/c she wanted to save face and get revenge in a sense? She seemed pretty bitter that he toyed with her. He said his reasons were that he was flattered and liked the attention she gave him. God knows I give him attention, which he agrees that I do. Also, I discovered that he let his supervisor know all the details of how he "horribly messed up". By him airing his mistake to his boss, could that be taken as he really understanding how wrong this was of him to do? Sorry if this is very long. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Welcome. I don't know what some men's problems are, but there sure are a lot that stray when their wife is pregnant. I would believe what the woman said, as your hubby has already lied to you about no seeing her.

He does sound like he knows he made a mistake. But the most important thing is that he change jobs. Any further contact is a danger to your marriage. He has already crossed the line.

I would believe the OW's story too. I am sure his ego was stroked big time and he thought what you didn't know wouldn't hurt you....yeah right.

Now that you know he is vulnerable to an affair if would be good for you to work through Dr. Harley's materials together.

In order to try to affair proof your marriage you might want to start by reading 'His Needs Her Needs' together and then 'Love Busters'. Both are sold on this website.

Best that you both learn this stuff early in your marriage.

If you are Christians it may be good to her the book 'Every Man's Battle' for your H....if he'd read it...'Every Young Man's Battle' is available on DVD.