SIMPLE...you've got to go on regular dates...A DATE NIGHT each week...

I would love to do that but the lady who was babysitting our kids moved away to open her own coffee shop. Now we go out like once a month. As a matter of fact we are going out tomorrow night. How would us going out more often help with the things I need from him?

He is not seeing you as his LADY but as A MOTHER so he's treating you like that, IMO.

It's important to give your R your highest priority.

Don't make the mistake I made, Dig.

Your kids will be happier and the both of you will be happier.

Make it your biggest priority to find another babysitter.

There are some reliable teenagers around that will be adequate for just a couple of hour or so.

Have your read the Harley RULES FOR A HAPPY/SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE..15 HOURS A WEEK OF UNDIVIDED TIME WITH EACH OTHER

I know the need the undivided attetion so we spend at least 4-5 hours a night together doing things we like. With the 15 hours does it have to be outside the house?

Not all the time out of the house..but there needs to be some DATING..like you are a COUPLE...not a MOM and DAD.

We DATE and our children don't even live at home anymore. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Ok Mims I will try this and see if this makes things any better. When you say don't make the same mistakes you make what mistake was that? I want to go out and have fun with my H. He is the home body. You can't tell I am very extroverted?

For starters:

When I became a mother, I started NEGLECTING my H and gave the children priority over him. I stopped romancing him like I used to. I stopped being the woman that he fell IN LOVE with. I was STILL THERE..just let that part of me grow dormant.

Second: I tried to make him into who I wanted him to be. It would be if you tried to turn your H into an EXTROVERT when he is really an INTROVERT.

My H told me something that I never forgot: "I DIDN'T WANT ANYTHING DIFFERENT. I WANTED IT TO BE THE SAME AS IT WAS"..just the BASICS was what he NEEDED...love and attention to HIM...

Even though your H now seems like a HOMEBODY as you say, maybe he's moreso an INTROVERT. I'm like that while my H is an EXTROVERT. He may not like the HUBBUB out in about outside of the house. I get overwhelmed by that, too; whereas my H likes to be out meeting and greeting, talking to lots of people. So for your date, a quiet, secluded place is probably best. It's hard for you to be a COUPLE at HOME, I would think since that's your PLACE OF EMPLOYMENT <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> and you both are more likely to take the attention away from each other.

I got you Mims. I know a lot of the little things I use to do like put the kids to bed early and have a candle light dinner and bubblebath with him I don't do as often. I miss that. Maybe I should try and do that more often. I use to give him massages and pedicures no I do it every so often. I didn't think they meant as much to him as I thought they did so I slacked off and now I can see how I could be wrong. Maybe he misses the extra attention as much as I do. You have really given me something to think about and work on. It's not that I give the attention to the kids instead of him but maybe I need to work on the quality. Thank you Mims.

I love you advice and this board. The people here have been so helpful to me and every one for that matte. I am so grateful I found this site in time.