Let me first start out by saying that me and the women i'm speaking of are not married. We ere engaged and then it was all downn hill from there. we dated, our still dating, for nearly six years, and lived together for two, but have lived seperate for the past year. We had been engaged for one year and about a year ago from february i moved out due to her infidelity. Basically it started because of my failure to meet her emotional needs, and the busy hectic life i live.
Let me explain that she never had many friends, and has had no contact with her family. Yet last year she finally came out of this shell and since then has become quite a sociable, and beautiful person. She started talking with her coworker a few months before i moved out, and she insisted that they were just friends and asked if i cared if the two went to dinner. I did not care, and was actually excited for her to maybe make a friend or friends. Right of the bat though whenever he would call and i'de answer he would just hang up, and she would always talk in another room. She never brought him around me or anything, and to this day we've never actually spoke. after i moved out they spent nearly everyday together and spent the nights with eachother. she always insisted that they were just friends and that he slept on the couch. I finally said ennough is enough, and didnt talk to her for about a mmonth and a half.
She started writting me e-mails, and calling saying she wanted me in her life, and needed me in her life. Basically i said well then if you two aren't dating thenn stop spending the evenings with him and have me around.
Well, she did stop spending the night with him, but she never spends the night with me, and i dont go to her house and neither does he.
Our relationship between us got a lot better over the past 7 months. We same to have a great time together, and just generally happy, but there has always been the fact that she still hangs out with him, and the fact that she avoids all possibilities of me and him ever crossing paths. I should explain that she says she doesnt want to lose him as a friend because he is pretty much her social life, and the people he is acuainted with. So i told a while ago then she needs to find away to show me that i'm the one she is dating, and he is just her friend, or i'm going to get to a point where enough is enough.
Well i finally got to that point- I told her that what she says and what their relationship looks like are two different things, and that i was just done with all of it.
Last night she came over crying and finally told me that: Yes, when i first moved it they were dating, but she realized that she was only attracted to the way he made her feel, and that she wanted to get that from me. She claims that they never had any sexual relation, but i honestly find it hard to believe when they spent everynight together for nearly 4-5 months.
At this point i dont know what to do- I love this girl very much, and i'm extremely attracted to her in everyway. She is very beautiful, intelligent, and self-driven, but with all of this it makes my head spin. All of the lies, and lies to cover up lies.
She says now that she wants to start over and build a relationship so that she can earn my trust, and that i can show her how much i really care for her. I do want to do this, but i dont know how i'm going to trust her if she is still hanging out with him.
any advice would be great~
