My husband and I had a "discussion" yesterday. I was pretty upset, being that it was mother's day and I hadn't received a card from him. Prior to this day, I asked what he would be getting me, and of course I was kiding. I am happy with a card. Well, he said nothing because I was not his mother. He lived up to it. i went to work at 12p.m.on mother's day and didn't get a card from him until 7p.m. that afternoon, along with a dvd. He wasn't even home when I got home. he was with his family having lunch. Well, I told him that his girls and I should be the most important thing in his life and he suggested that the most importatnt thing in his life was his mother and i was in second and that was not going to change. What do I do? I feel like I am not important at all. how do I change his mind. Or there is no hope. I mean we made up, but nothing was settled. Just the fact that I come in second to his mom.

well, I don't mind him seeing his mother. That didn't bother me. What bothered me is that He is married now and his family should be his priority. I spend more time with his family than I do him. A few weeks ago, she (His mother) sent an e-mail to all her kids that she wanted flowers sent to her job for her b-day, in addition she wanted all of them to pitch in for new windows for her house. what gives.We aren't working to support her. Of course, the fowers were sent, but I drew the line on the the windows. A week later she needed her yard mowed. Well, there he goes after working a 40 hour week and not seeing his daughters but a few (three) hours a day. Those weekends should be spent with them, not doing manual labor. Don't take me wrong, i love my mother-n-law and she's always been kind to me, but he and she needs to understand that there are other priorities in his life. he came home that night tired, a mess at the house, and the girls went to bed late. Might I add that he used to be in the military. Who cut her yard then? I would understand if she couldn't do it herself, but she is not disabled, or old (she's 55) and my husband is not the only child she has. What about her other capable daughters (26 and 34). I help him at home and every now and then and I mow our lawn or do yard work so he doesn't have to. I did it even when I was pregnant. I just don't like it when I am not consulted about things. Or when time spent with my daughters is taken away because she can't get her behind off the couch and do chores around her own house. Or why not hire someone do to do it. I;m just tired and I am willing to move to another city to avoid this. It's putting a strain on our marriage, because i bring it up and he gets mad because he "just can't please everyone." So then, i stay quiet. What else could I do?