Thursday will be 1 year since WH moved out. I've done Plan A and feel like I'm not any better off now than i was then. WH states affair is over...but he does have to keep the peace until he can get another job. He is reluctant about moving home because she can make things miserable at work if she finds out. I said who cares if she finds out if the affair is over? He replies he still has to work there. She is the one who will give his reference. I asked why is it OK for her to live at home and worked on her marriage but you're not? I've spoken to her husband and he did say they were working on their marriage and he would be surprised if they were still togther. My husband is looking for another job and states that we will all move together as a family if it is out of the area??? Can a boss have this much influence or is he just playing me?

Ani6209
Welcolm to MB and sorry you have to be here.


1 Year is wayyyyy too long to be in plan A. Dr H recommends for a women, no longer than six months. Did you miss that or have you not read all of his material before jumping onto the forums? You should have been in a very dark plan B by now, but since you have chosen not to, you have allowed your WH to sit on top of the fence. Bad choice, but let's assume you didn't know any better.


Oh, I see, saving his job and his professional reputation is much more important than saving his M. And you allow this type of wayward thinking to continue, unabatted? You are not doing him or yourself, a favor thinking like this. Since she is his boss, have the two of you ever heard of a sexual harrassment lawsuit? If so, who should be the worried one?


NO, he doesn't. This is simply his choice to do so. I don't want to hear about fainancial need or anything else, it is all secondary to your M.


Yes and no. If she does, a lawsuit is justified. If on the other hand, he is using this as a lame excuse to not come home and work on your M, then, yes, he isp;aying you and using these very lame excuses to string you along until he decides to come down off the fence and reconcile.
Your H is IMHO, playing a hurtful game with you, and you are hanging on his every word. Plan A is about making yourself stronger, and in effect, above this mind playing that your H seems so adept at. I hesitate to tell you this, but your so called Plan A has been a miserable failure. The worst part is, your H knows this far better than you. How about re reading about Plan A and Plan B on the main site here, and rethinking your position?

I do wish you all the best!

All Blessings,
Jerry

He is just playing you. He has HER by the short and curlies, not the other way around. She would likely lose her job if you would send a nice little letter to Human Resources and the board of directors and HER direct boss.

In the meantime, your H doesn't want to come home because he wants to leave the door open for his affair. He probably holds out hope that she will leave her H.

Why are you not exposing the affair and trying to help your marriage?

I agree with Mel and Jerry. Your husband could sue her and the company if she did ANYTHING to adversely effect his career because he moved back in with his wife. That is a sexual harrassment suite that the attorneys would be salivating over.

Can you support yourself without your husband's income?