Need help in MD and Southern PA to find a good Counselor. H has decided that he will do counseling with me! YEAH! We have already been to counseling, buit with no luck. I hope to find a good counselor this time! HELP HELP!

Quote- "Call the counseling center here on this site. They have a nationwide list of counselors that use these methods."

I read this on an old post under the article responses. Is this true? Can you call the counseling center and get a list of counselors who use this method? If so great! I will try it tomorrow. If not, I still am wondering if anyone has a good counselor in the area?

The MB counseling is phone counseling which many people have found helpful. They get right to the point and don't waste time.

But - is the OW out of the picture?

How long have you done a good Plan B?

I am from Oxford, PA...right outside of Elkton, MD...if this is close to you and you would like a counselor in Newark... I can recommend one for you.

MEDC

I think you should stick with the Harley's and phone counseling.

Do they take insurance?

Even if they don't, they're cheaper than lawyers.

believer it seems as if the other person is not out of the picture at the way my H is acting, But I think that she is gone. Of course I have no trust for H and I seem to think everthing- even his enlongated trips to the bathroom are now a sign of infidelity. If I was reasonable, I would say that 99% sure that the first OW is gone, but there could be a number 2 who knows. H is a firefighter and is gone at work a lot. He could see a OW there or email or call or whatever. I have no control over anything like this at this point. H feels he has done a lot to prove that he has cahnged. HE has, but he refused transparency and up until last week- counseling or anything else that is rewarding.

MEDC- thanks, but I think that you are a little too far for me, but how did you find a good counselor? We have had two in our marriage of 12 years with no luck. The last guy didn't give us any advice or have any plan. I would really like someone with Harley qualities or at least a lan that has had success!!! with atleast one marriage. No counsel could answer the questions HArley provided to give to counselors for an interview.

Broken Dreams 331- I can't afford Harley or a D. Harley did say that they take insurance, if insurance will agree to not having billing codes. I still need to contact insurance about that. Harley's rep also said that they do not have a list of counselors yet, but they are working on it right now.

What is it with firefighters??? Must be the hours. We've had quite a few WS's here that are firefighters.

Hang in there and keep watching. Time will tell. The truth always comes out.

H and I had a huge argument last night. Very violent and numbing. It is the first time that I actually lost my temper (just verbally) in about a year. All this stuff started spewing from my mouth. Mostly all from anger and a lot of 4 X 4 ( that were progressive). I hate to say it but it was very productive. H admitted that he is in a depression and needs help. WOW! H also couldn't believe some of the things I said that I really meant. I think he was thinking he was the only one that felt badly about things that had occured in our marriage. I just think- hey what is in the past is in the past and I go on. He thinks the marriage is always like that and never changing. I just wish I could feel that the affair was in the past and I could be done with feeling bad about it. I just don't like being blamed for what he did.


Sorry, I am babbling about nothing, I guess I have to find closure to our argument last night. Somehow writing it down makes it seem to go away.


I think finding a counselor needs to be ASAP. Also, I think that I want to avoid another outburst again. For awhile I was trying to spend all of our time together doing happy things and when he was at work email him anything that I wanted to discuss that way I could consider my words and focus on the positives when he gets home. I think I will do that again.


It is hard to help someone when they are depressed. He has a false sense of how easy life is and how miimal problems are. He seems to blow them out of proportion. He also is negative about everything. He is easily angered and has always been just the opposite. Worst of all he drinks to avoid issues. Maybe only 1 beer, but it isn't the answer. With everything he is a conflict avoider. He just wants to avoid dealing with this problem he has. It is too hard to function for him.

I see him starting to reach out and don't know how to help. Will a counselor be able to recognize these things and suggest that he consult his family doctor???

What things have been successful with depression?

Plan A was helpful last year after the A, but I just know I don't have it in me to plan A successfully again. I am running on empty hoping for a miracle. Praying that it will turn in the right direction.


I am close to giving up, but i know i won't. If I didn't care i would be reading a book versus being on the forum. HMMMM, that sounds good. I will reread HNHN for the fiftieth time looking for the piece I missed.

Anyways just an update. Thanks for listening.

Let me correct that. Because plan A worked very effectively, I feel that I have worked on my self enough for right now. Not that I am perfect, I am sure I will find a whole bunch of new things as we progress int counseling. Of course the above statement of anger could show otherwise, but REALLY I have become a new person. H is really coming around. I mean up until this point counseling was a no-way, he would have rather D than work it out. I am proud of him. This is the most difficult thing for him being able to admit when he/we need/s help. Better yet he admitted it to me. He said I can help him.

Progress, I think.

Now back to my current dilemma ( there is always something) I just want to know what techniques have you found successful with a H who is depressed?

Oh and I am still looking for a good counselor in the MD and S. Central Pa region. Anyone???

Hopefully my insurance will help with MB ohone therapy and I wont need someone.

Sounds like things are going along fairly well. His doc should be able to give him something for depression. Hopefully your husband will take it. Has he always had kind of a negative outlook?

I was going to jump the gun and say no, but thn i think back and yes, everything has been diim. When we were in the first dating stage nothing was blah, but everything after that was negative. Where ever we lived it was like I hate it here because.....then it was I need this toy and that toys to make me happy......then before during and after the A it was and still is, "It has never been the places or the thing, but it was you that made me unhappy for all these years."_ OUCH he says that an awful lot. Then I say that really can't be true as you wrote letter saying you loved me. then he says he put on an act to not hurt me, but that he truly was unhappy with me. Then he follows it up with you want me to be honest don't you???

SO yeah things are decent. Right now, but I could really use a good MC ASAP! The things like the above that he says I hear repeated in my hed all the time and they hurt. I would like some of the pain of the A to fade and the pain from the hurtful things to stop. i want to love and cherish my H again, but I find it more difficult now than ever!

H admits that he has a problems, but I don;t think that he is at the level to name it depression or that he should be on any medication. BUT at least he is making baby steps.

Funny though i just read an article linking migraine to depression and they are beginning to see correlations between the two. H has migraines constantly. H also meets the criteria for depression. H seems to not really enjoy family things that he didn't seem to mind before like games and outings. H said he didn;t want to say before that he didn't enjoy them, but he will do them for us. I hate doing things that don;t make us all happy. It seems selfish as there is so much out there to do there has to be something that we can all enjoy! I really think this is all depression with this false sense of reality and lack of enthusiam for his family.

Which reminds me of this cool movie we watched together on Sunday night- CLick. My H must be the charachter they are displaying in the movie. it was funny to talk to my H about feeling that way and see how ADam Sandler's Chracter turned out in the end. H seemed to get what i was thinking and he agreed!

I don;t want to put too much clout into the depression bc if it isnt depression then i will need to find the reason for what has happend. if it is depression at least that is an easier fix. Althoug not easy for H, but right now nothing is.

Sorry to babble MB forum hels me organize my ideas and understand my next plan of action. Believer thanks for listening!