Do I need to email the OW to tell her to back off?

You think she would really heed your advice?

L.

Orchid raises a good question.

When I discovered my XH EA, I sent the OW an email, even though the A had allegedly been over for some 6 months or more.

It was great therapy to let it rip <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> I got a venomous reply from her, but I didn't care. I had to vent my anger and hurt on both of the responsible parties, and I did just that. Then I moved on to try to repair my M - which we did at the time. My M ended over other things, I don't think he was unfaithful after that... at least I couldn't find anything. M ended over other stuff, including his depression etc.

If you email her, it may not cause her to back off - in fact that may backfire and she and your H may unite against you <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> So I don't know whether I'd advise you to do that.

All I can say was, it felt really good to let it rip on somebody who desperately deserved it. If it did anybody any good, it was me.

JinGA

Thank you. I guess the email isn't necessary. I mailed a copy of the cybersex transcripts to the OW's husband. The OW said in her IM's to WH that she didn't care if her husband knew about what was happening...she was unhappy and that's all that mattered. She even bragged about how he found my husband's IM's to her and was upset about it.

Good job Sweetcharity

exposure to OP's spouse is empowering

confronting the OP is usally not going to make the OP back off

[color:"red"] GOOD JOB [/color]

I guess, at this point, it's not so much about making the OW back off, it's making sure that both of them know that I am not going to lie down and let her and my WH walk all over me.