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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 17
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 17 |
I recently made the decision to leave the church my husband and I currently attend because I developed an attraction to one of the pastor's I was having frequent contact with. I turned in my two-week notice yesterday (I lead worship for the youth) and it's been so hard to stay on course.
My heart wants to stay but I know if I do; this emotional attraction will only pull me closer to the path of infidelity - mentally.
This attraction was possibly one-sided - I never shared how I felt with this individual but my heart is so unsettled about leaving. Any encouragement would help.
I feel I've disappointed people from the church and this pastor specifically. I don't think he ever had feelings for me but I developed feelings for him.
Help!!!!
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 1,401
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 1,401 |
You should be proud of how you ACTED as I know the pull from these EA's can be very intense.
It's not easy but you did the right thing and should maintain NC with this pastor.
Does your H know? If not I would be honest with him about it as this will help protect your M in the future.
Married 10 years, Legally Seperated Aug 2,2006 1 year of Plan A followed by 1 year of Plan B... ...now stepping towards recovery????? BH 37(me), WW 35, DB 7 & DD 5 My Story My struggle with an EA
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 17
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 17 |
Maybe that's the reason I don't feel as secure with this decision as I should - my husband fully knows where my heart has gone with this pastor - I've shared with him every conversation, every interaction and every feeling but he still believes this church is where we belong. Because I don't have my husband's full support to leave; I feel so vulnerable.
THANK YOU for encouraging me. I must believe it was the right decision to make.
God bless you!
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 1,638
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 1,638 |
I too want to commend you for your choice to NC this pastor.
Let me add that you should read the Basic Concepts on this site and see if you can develop an understanding of why you would be attracted to a man other than your H. According the philosophy here, it could be because you have certain Emotional Needs (ENs) that aren't being met by your H.
If that is not addressed, you could continue to be vulnerable to other men. And the next one might not be as pure of heart as a pastor.
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 1,632
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 1,632 |
Congradulations C358,
You have done the correct and admiarable thing!!!
Be prepared to go through a withdrwal period and let your emotions return to normal.
I'm sure God is smiling on you!!
All Blessings,
Jerry
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Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 198
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Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 198 |
YES, THE LORD WILL BLESS YOUR OBEDIENCE!
I'm glad to read your update C358, that you've done the right thing for your M. You've shown yourself to be a truly mature person, mentally, and spiritually in Christ. Continue leaning on the Lord, and He will give you the strength to follow through on your decision.
FWH, BS (me), 43
BS, FWW, 42
DS 20, 13
PAs With W's Sister's Friend & Prostitute - SF Only (me), 1992-93
Married July 1994
Hit On W's Underage Sister & Close Friends, 1996-98
I Confessed Everything, Spring 1998
My D-Day, Jan. 2007
She Moved Out, Feb. 2007
Filed For D 4/18/07 For Legal Protection, Did Not Pursue
FWW Moved Back Home 08/05/07
Status: I'm Not Sure
(original thread of my sitch lost)
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 2,160
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 2,160 |
You absolutely did the right thing. Now, please get yourself and your husband into couples counseling because you were sliding down a "slippery slope" for a reason, right? Your husband's inability to understand is troubling to me. Can you two call SH for some personalized advice?
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 3,474
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 3,474 |
Pride goeth before the fall.
When you run from sin, you show a lack of pride. You show a humble recognition of your own weakness.
So many of us here have spouses who were too arrogant to think that they would ever be unfaithful. You have not been arrogant.
Cherished
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 17
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 17 |
Thanks everyone! I'm going to print your responses and keep them near. When my heart wants to stray, I'll keep them near.
I'm running! Thank Jesus for the strength to run. And yes Longhorn, we've begun counseling. Don't want to go back to the sin that got me entangled in the first place.
Blessings to you all!
C358
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