I don't think the idea of NC has sank into his brain. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

As for the tears, I bet this woman is doing a good job training her daughter to be a 'drama queen'.

Come on people, I did not take her call, I did not call her back.. what the #$%^ do you want? I told you what happened.

And now you taking shots at the womans daughter...you have problems!

all i meant was why do you even still listen to the voicemail? it just tugs at you when you do. so why do it? why listen to anything she has to say at all. she tried to tug at your heartstrings by saying her daughter was crying and sad she would not see your daughter. well, it is her own fault that her daughter won't. that has nothing to do with you. but she hoped you would call and say "well, they can still play together" and then she would see you and then she could start her games again. that is all that was about. if i don't want to hear from someone, i block their calls, don't listen to their voicemessges, block their email, etc.. trust me it can be done.

we just think it is sad her daughter has a mother like this. it is a very sad role model that her daughter has. she is going to grow up thinking that this is ok.

mlhb

MLHB, I'm glad someone gets it.


gb, this woman is a drama queen. she's a master manipulator. and, usually, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. it is sad to think she is raising a daughter who will learn how to treat and mistreat people just by watching her mother. and you are allowing her to go on and on and on and on and on and on and on with her games

What we want doesn't matter.

What do YOU want? That is what matters.

It is apparent what you do NOT want. You do NOT want her to leave you alone. If you did, you would establish and enforce that personal boundary.

You enable her to contact you.
You enable her to hurt you emotionally.
You enable her to use the children as a means to emotionally abuse you.

What do YOU want?

ba, I know what gb wants....he wants us to be impressed that he can 'catch' such a young woman....and to continue to thump around in bed with her.

He doesn't want to do the mature thing.

And he doesn't want our advice.....ADVICE IS WHAT YOU ASK FOR WHEN YOU KNOW THE ANSWER BUT DON'T LIKE IT!!!!!

he wants to eat cake. young cake. and for us to think he's all that and a bag of chips because she likes his chips.

Cindi...I NEVER try to impress ANYone, age is not a factor, re-read my reply. I did not take the call, I listened to the Vm and deleted it. I did not call her or get the kids to play or any of that other crap.

your right she tried to tug at the heart strings and failed.

My daughters ask about her and her daughter all the time. I have told them we are no longer seeing each other. when they ask again I guess you want me to punish them..


Both of my children are fine, one is in Honnors class at school and the other is doing very well, I have NEVER spanked my children.

as far as the GF, I am not going to block the number I just dont answer the call. My ex wife has my number blocked from calling daughters cell...and that is a bad feeling thats why I dont block the GF number. She will get tired of it..

funny how you all think I have this huge ego or something I have to feed. the 29 year old came to me. I went out with a 43 year old sat. A friend from work has me fixed up with a 33 year old that owns her own business that is saturday. a lunch date. Friday night is a 42 year old from the bank.
I really HATE the dating scene. I work and come home, work out and run. I live a simple life..BECAUSE I WANT TO.
I am a nice guy....I never try and slam a door or burn a bridge....thats just me...I think treating someone as you all describe is just rude.

Well comparing you blocking this woman's calls from your phone to your XW blocking your number from your daughter's phone is comparing apples with bowling balls.

But hey - you must derive some sort of pleasure from hearing the XGF squirm, or you'd either block her completely, which would tell her CLEARLY that you are done with her, or just delete the voice mail without listening.

I do think that hearing this woman's pathetic please *is* an ego boost for you - after all YOU must be all that and more because why else would this woman just not cut her losses and move on?

It's good that you aren't returning her calls - but why not go one further and prevent the calls. If she is leaving you messages she KNOWS you'll listen, and she's holding out hope that you will "come around"...

Keep on dragging it out, I guess... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

JinGA

He has The Nile confused with Denial.....

No! It's not rude at all. Initiating no contact with this woman is self preservation. It has nothing to do with treating her good, bad or otherwise. NC protects YOU.

Cheating on your supposedly exclusive relationship...now that's rude.
Harassing you with unending phone calls and drive-bys...now that's rude.
Using the kids in an attempt to guilt you into contact...now that's rude.

You won't do NC because you are not emotionally strong enough. Not because it's rude. A part of you still wants to be with her. You would take her back in a heartbeat if your conditions were met.

We are telling you to walk away because you are not married. There is no commitment. She owes you nothing. She has nothing vested in you. She has someone else. She is a freeloader. She has no reason whatsoever, to meet any of your conditions.

Every time you listen to a phone message or read an email or go to a club where she might be hanging out, is contact. Even if you don't correspond with her. You are enabling these things to happen simply by doing nothing to prevent them.

ba i could not agree more.

mlhb

Likewise! Add me to the 'AMEN' list.

was out to eat and ran into EX-GF, she came to the table and gave hugs to my daughters and told them she misses them and said the same to me minus the hug. She said she would like to start all over and take baby steps. She said if I wanted to go out we would do so as friends.

She told me she knows she done wrong and knew the relationship with the OM would never work but did not know how to end it. I told her I was tired of talking about it and talked to her about her new job.

I was going to buy my daughters clothes and asked her to help me. She said she would love to. we went shopping and had a very nice time.

She said she would call only on Sundays, I told her NOT to call me because she thought that is what I wanted but to call because she wanted to. conversations have been nice, she has told me she was hurt, I told her I understood and that I to was hurt. Conversations were very pleasant.

She called me this am on her break just to tell me about her new job, she said she would like to meet me for lunch.

I have told her all my gaurds are up, i told her I know what kind of a loving woman she can be, I told her if there was no cahce to leave now and forget she ever knew me.

She has again told me she wanted to take things slow with no
promises of a future, she said she wanted to be my best friend, I told her my best friend would be my wife period.

Aww, how sweet. She really sounds like a peach. Does she still plan to keep boinking the other guy whilst being your "best friend"?

AGG

well, you know exactly what you are getting yourself into.

don't come "a" cryin when she does it to you AGAIN.

fool you once shame on her
fool you twice? SHAME ON YOU!

mlhb

She can play you like a violin. Are you man enough to tell this two-timing hussy to get lost? Or are you stupid enough to keep her around 'cuz the sex is good?

Whatever. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Have fun! Good luck! (You're gonna need it!)

JinGA

first the other guy is out of the picture

second I know the foll me once,twice thing. I am very cautious, I know all of the "dangers" and all that.
right now I choose to stay.

third Cinerella,,, why you so worried about the sex...

fourth, Have fun I have and always will.


what is sad is I have come her for some support and all I have gotten was leave run dump her and school yard name calling. Cinder.. was going to forgive her husband and I feel fairly certain that the rest of you would have
forgiven your spouse if you had the chance. I am sure most
of the time the decision of leaving was up to the other person and that is why the anger is in each of you so bad.

I assure you when I get ready to cancel a person there is
NO question about it.

This girl I feel deserves a second chance because I really care for her still. She calls when she says and does what she says and comes by when she says..

I came here looking for ways to salvage this relationship not throw her under the bus. Seems like Cinderella is a man hater. Oh well good luck with your 1/2 marathon none the less.

I went out with 3 women, one was extremly good looking but I felt she wanted a sponser..that I am not going to be, I never called her back.

The other two I have been out with again. I have had fun
each time.

right now the GF and I are starting over, mainly talking, she called today and wants to meet for lunch tomorrow..
I am going to meet her but guess that is not a surprise to any of you.

Well, you actually did get good advice, just like you asked - you just didn't like it. You didn't like us telling you that since the girl is a cheater, you are better off without her. I still stick by that advice.

You ask if we would have forgiven our cheating spouses - I think for most of us, the answer is "yes". But how does that relate to your story? She is not your spouse. She is a GF who has demonstrated that she is a cheater.

So, the question you should be asking us is "would you marry someone knowing ahead of time that they are a cheater?". And the answer would be a resounding "NO!". Precisely because most of us have been through infidelity and know how it hurts. Most of us would have died and gone to heaven to have had the crystal ball to see that the people we married would cheat - you actually have that crystal ball, lucky you.

If you prefer to try to squeeze blood out of a turnip, i.e. a faithful relationship out of a cheater, that is your prerogative, obviously. But you should realize that despite the occasional name-calling, done purely out of frustration with your destructive actions, we still do hope that you would do the smart thing and save yourself misery later on. But of course, it's a free country.

AGG