What is says is SHE'S DELUSIONAL and wants to exert control.

This part though:


Likely BEGS a poignant response to further support your claim for custody.

Something to the effect:



Not my greatest work...you hopefully get the point. Most likely NO RESPONSE is the best course of action; however, every little opportunity to expand your case WITH DOCUMENTATION may behoove you. You MAY just instigate some stinging emails in response...all the better.

Mr. Wondering

latest exchange between the lawyer's and me,

I went back and checked and I text messaged her 47 times since Friday.

Subject of them are as follow's

1) Girls told me they were scared mom was leaving again because she was text messageing and being secretive

2) DD(12) was shown and told about a text message to OM3 from WW, about not wanting him to call her anymore because WW thought he had a girl friend... DD(12) was shown the text message by WW

3) Needing to coordinate drop of of DD(6) on Friday because she had no school - at least 6 message on that.

4) Asked WW if she was going to file before starting new relationships as it set bad precidents for kids.

5) Asked WW to stop lieing to DD(12) - DD(12) had caught her in a lie and WW made DD12 feel guilty

6) Asked WW to stop calling friends, she called Farm Friend (who use to be WW friend but now is my friend) and was harrassing her.

7) Asked WW to stop talking to the kids about her relationships and the guys she likes

8) Asked WW to help support DD(12)'s horse show - at leas 8 messages on that subject

9) Asked WW to pay toyota bill

10) Asked WW to pay dental bill

11) Told WW about attorney calling for her about urgent care bill - 2 messages

12) Asked WW to stop lieing again to DD(12), as DD(12) knew the truth about things and DD(12) was hurt more by the lies that WW was telling her.

13) Ask WW if DD(12) could go to divorce care on Wednesday, as DD(12) wanted to talk to WW friend and divorce care director because WW used her in one of her lies.

Every text message surrounded a technical detail, like bill payment or an issue that arouse from the girls. I am trying to co-parent as best as I can but she continues to play mind games with the girls.s

I also will admit that some of them might have been strong in tone but not offensive or vile.

I don't mind if you share this list with Ms Stewart.

-----Original Message-----
From: MY Attorney
Sent: Tuesday, May 22, 2007 4:20 PM
To:ME
Subject: ME

Please tell me this is not true.
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

-----Original Message-----
From: WW Attorney
Date: Tue, 22 May 2007 14:20:58
To:My Attorney
Subject: ME

Apparently your client text messaged WW 20 times this weekend alone. Please advise him that this is in violation of the order and must cease immediately. His next atty fee payment of $2500 is due to me tomorrow btw.

Thanks,



WW Attorney

Vike,


WHAT?

Is your attorney scolding you??? in his email above?

Why are you not listening to him?

I know its hard to see the WW acting like an idiot and not taking care of the children. But, you have to be smart about this and calculating and you can't control her. She knows that and wants to bait you into exchanges that she can share with her attorney. She wants to make you out to be a controlling, jealous, husband who doesn't want her to be happy.

Listen to your attorney that is what your paying him for. Document and bury her in court at the final hearing. When is it?

I hear yeah, I have all the text message I sent, she likes to blast out a statement like I sent her 20 messages but doesn't put them into context....

So the flipside of that is I dont' respond or share children information and I get blasted as bad co-parent.

Its a dance I knwo, hopefully I am a better dancer than she is.

Here is something I shared with my lawyer after the last exchange.......

I wanted to let you know this so when pressed you know why I wont conform to any request.

I know WW had a one night stand last week of sorts because one of my daughter's overheard a conversation of WW's with the guy she was planning on meeting Friday night in Fayettville.

The girls are so worried that mom is going to try and move them again, or ignore them again that they are trying to sabotage her, one of my daughters told me the guys name from what they read on caller-id, WW is obessive about looking at caller-id and screening calls, I guess the girls have come to adopt the same behavior. I have not requested or encourage this behavior in my daughter's this is from them being taught their mother is not trustworthy.

My daughter brought with her his name and part of a number that she remember's seeing. All I had to do is put two and two together. I was able to fine out his number from his name and partial phone number.

My motivation is my daughters safety and that they grow up normal, I don't want them around a permiscous mother, I know I don’t have control over that but when the girls are with me they know that that type of behavior is not allowed. I also don't want my daughter taught that lieing is okay and allowable, even my counselor told me that I need establish strong boundaries for them in regards to honesty and truthfulness.

So I wanted to let you know before you get hammered by MWW attorney

Good GOD! Viking!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

Long story short, you have got to stop TM'ing her! Nothing personal, dude, that your TM'ing is ridiculous and on the verge of harassment!! No, seriously man! It's controlling and you are DEFINITELY feeding into her NS!!

Here are the "excuses" you used to try to continue controlling your STBXW:

1) Girls told me they were scared mom was leaving again because she was text messageing and being secretive.

Then you call your ATTY. and formulate a LEGAL plan to keep the girls here, in state, with you. You DO NOT text your WW telling her what she can and can not do!

2) DD(12) was shown and told about a text message to OM3 from WW, about not wanting him to call her anymore because WW thought he had a girl friend... DD(12) was shown the text message by WW.

Then you DOCUMENT that children were shown inappropriate, private, sexual, adult discussions (documenting what it was and when) and you use that in your custody case as evidence of her inability to properly parent. You do NOT text your WW and tell her what she can and can not show your DD12!!

3) Needing to coordinate drop of of DD(6) on Friday because she had no school - at least 6 message on that.

This is somewhat appropriate. However, if it was MOM's day to have DD6, then it is MOM's responsibility to arrange what to do with her on Friday...NOT YOURS. Keep your nose out of it! If she does not arrange for it, and calls you in a panic--THEN you take DD6 and you look like a responsible parent and she looks like she is unable to parent.

4) Asked WW if she was going to file before starting new relationships as it set bad precidents for kids.

It is not your place to tell WW to file before starting a new relationship. See how controlling you are being? I mean, I know she is still M'ed to you, but you can not force her to do it your way! If she wants to be a complete nut job, let her be a complete nut job--even in front of the kids--and then YOU be the stable, moral, responsible one. This TM is UNREASONABLE!!

5) Asked WW to stop lieing to DD(12) - DD(12) had caught her in a lie and WW made DD12 feel guilty

This does not involve you so why are you telling WW what to do again? This is between DD12 and her relationship with HER MOTHER. If WW wants to completely screw that up by lying to her, that is WW's problem. Furthermore, in a D due to A, your DD12 and DD6 are going to be hurt and you can not stop the WW from hurting them. A more appropriate response to this would be documenting that DD12 called you, saying she caught her mom in another lie and that DD12 said she was hurt by her mom's lie. PERIOD. No texting!

6) Asked WW to stop calling friends, she called Farm Friend (who use to be WW friend but now is my friend) and was harrassing her.

If Farm Friend is feeling harassed, then Farm Friend can get a RO. Once again, you are sticking your nose into stuff that is none of your business -and- you are trying to control what WW does. If WW is convicted of harassing Farm Friend, that would be relevant to a custody hearing and should be DOCUMENTED only! No texting!

7) Asked WW to stop talking to the kids about her relationships and the guys she likes

Once again...telling WW what she can and can not do. Furthermore, if she is able to save any of these TM's, it is now proof AGAINST YOU in a custody hearing and proof FOR HER that you are controlling and verging on abusive. You must stop!!

8) Asked WW to help support DD(12)'s horse show - at leas 8 messages on that subject

Your WW is capable of making sure DD12 works with Casey and gets to the show...on a schedule that is convenient to her. If she does not take action and have DD12 practice...SHE looks bad. If she does not get DD12 to show...SHE looks bad. If you continue to harass her with these controlling TM's...YOU look bad!

9) Asked WW to pay toyota bill

Could or should have been done via Atty.

10) Asked WW to pay dental bill

Via atty.

11) Told WW about attorney calling for her about urgent care bill - 2 messages

Allow her to ignore numerous attempts by the atty. and refuse to pay the bill. If she does so, SHE looks bad to the court! SHE looks like she is not responsible or co-parenting.

12) Asked WW to stop lieing again to DD(12), as DD(12) knew the truth about things and DD(12) was hurt more by the lies that WW was telling her.

Control, control, control. You can not stop your WW from being a lying, Narcissistic witch with a B who is going to lose her children and her family due to her self-centerness! But you CAN stop yourself from looking like the bad guy here. THIS TEXT IS UTTERLY INAPPROPRIATE.

13) Ask WW if DD(12) could go to divorce care on Wednesday, as DD(12) wanted to talk to WW friend and divorce care director because WW used her in one of her lies.

If worded this way, this TM might be appropriate.



Viking, I know I'm being pretty harsh on you here and giving you a walloping 2x4...but dude, you are NOT coming off smelling like a rose here. She, her atty. and your atty. now have documentation that you are controlling and on the verge of harassing! This could lead to RO's and trust me...YOU DO NOT WANT THAT!!

Soooooo...back off. Give her enough rope and she will hang herself, but you have GOT to put that cell down and refuse to TM her anymore!

Your mama killer bee,



CJ

Faith thank you for the 2x4, I think its a bit of the co-dependency coming back. For the past 6 months we have been neutral no movement on D no movement on her old relationships so it felt like one day she was going to call and ask me to talk, then something would move us closer, it not going to happen. She is so far gone and I know that her cycle wont end but I can end it for me.

I was considering not filing this week, letting it go back to waiting for her to come out of the fog, but fog is not what she is in, its more like soup, dark black soup that she is in and I don't need to include myself in it.

Thanks again for the 2x4

Faith is this where I go dark and never come back?

I forwarded your analysis of my statements to my lawyer, he will get a good laugh - he's probably thinking someone probaboy got through to him.

I am leaving everything alone, my daughter's will have to defend for themselves with her and I have been still to this day trying to rescue her

What a bad combination Narcissit with a co-dependent.

WOW, I agree with CJ.

So I thought this was funny ironic sad.

My WW started dating a new guy a few weeks ago, spent last weekend with him, but things must not be rosie in fogland.

She posted this on myspace today.

I am filing D today and will be moving on and having the kids in counseling for the near future.

She is entirely fogged out and does indeed sound like a narcissit. I know its hard to see for the children's sake and to shake the feeling that somehow yhu failed at something this important but sometimes success may be clothed in failure and growth.

VR... I thought you were definitely filing divorce papers a few weeks ago.

She surely is a wacky broad!

VR,

Are you filing for primary custody? I would think an non divorced woman trolling myspace looking for men would not speak highly of her spousal or parenting skills or priorities.

we have a seperate hearing and court process for custody. I started the kids in counseling and the counselor is awesome.

She works with foster kids and counsels for the states DSS.

Here was my update to my lawyer about this.....

Today June 2, the kids had their first counseling session. WW was aware of this for several weeks but she didn't attend - she was at work, she knew about the appt before her work schedule was created so she could have made arrangements to be there.

DD12 (12) was very upset that she had to go, she told me several times that MOM said she didn't have to go, if she didn't feel comfortable that I couldn't force her to go, this went on from Friday night all the way until the time for the appointment. Now, wasn't she the one that wanted clayton counseling, did we agree that the kids needed counseling. Now, she is trying to sabotage the kids ability to get help by putting into their heads that they don't need to go.

I talked to the counselor about this and she thought WW was being manipulative and feared the girls having an independent source help them setup boundaries and learn to deal with family issues.

The initial session didn't involve the kids, it was just me providing background. The counselor seems to be very good. She works for Wake County Foster Care services as a child counselor as well as for DSS as a child counselor. She has 13 years of experience.

After providing her the 13 year timeline of events, the initially believes WW could have a boarder line personality disorder, but WW needs to be evaluated and have her own Individual Counselor.

She praised me on my dealing with the children and situation, I explained all the things I have done and gave her a equal and fair picture of what has gone one.

She wants to see the girls individually and as a group and us all as a family.

I discusses with her that WW may be opposed to any or all of this and that I would prefer that the counselor draft up a schedule and outline of what needs to happen and when for the girls, she will submit that to you and ms stewart and that both parents agree to follow it, that means if WW doesn't want to take the girls to an appt that I have the right and option too, its in the best interest of the girls.

This counselor is not opposed to recommending the children stay with one parent or the other, she wants to start evaluating the girls and will make recommendations to use on what should be done.

I talked to her and I agree that if you could send through WW ATTY a very stern letter stating that both parents need to support the children in counseling and that WW needs not to sabotage or manipulate the girls experience or chance at having success in counseling.

WW is seeing a new guy and DD12 knows a bit about him already, WW also told one of the farm ladies about the guy and that she has spent the night at least once at his place in Fayettville. The counselor also agrees if WW starts up the pattern of last spring and summer with her involvement or neglect of the girls, then some action may be needed.

Viking, I think you inadvertently left some names in your last post that would be better edited out.

Sounds like you have a good ally here if you can use her in the custody hearing/court proceedings. Can she testify and would she be willing to?

The counseling center we use was recommended by the courts and they have a process and fee for a counselor to come and speak to the courts on the children's behalf

THE DECREE HAS BEEN SIGNED its going to be processed tomorrow and served on thursday

This is the final divorce decree? I guess that means any further testimony is moot eh?

Our custody trial is independent to our divorce decree. We right now only have temporary custody order which is easily modified by a court hearing.... Thus custody is still up in the air, but falling to my side.

She is living high on the hog right now

1500 CS
1000 PSS
and a 6000 PSS payout in October.

here monthly salary gross is is max 1760, right now she is pulling 600.00

So October she loose PSS.

Now if she wants Alimoy we have already laid the gauntlet down, we have requested s Jury Trial.

For all those in a NO FAULT state on thing I have learned is that NO FAULT just means you don't need a reason to divorce doesn't mean you can't contest everything.

So for the Custody trial we are leaving it to a judge and counselor's

For Alimony its going to the jury, if it gets that far. I don't think her lawyer has it in her. No after what she has already heard in court about the WW

I see. Then the counselor's testimony can be useful. That's great.

Yeah, "No Fault" simply refers to the reason for filing. Most of everything else is still up for grabs and judges are human beings. They're swayed (within the confines of the law), and when a jury hears of all this...whew! Katie bar the door!

As always, Viking, best of everything. Stay strong, your kids are going to need you very badly, soon I think. This woman is going to hit the wall very soon.