On April 30th my wife's recent affair finally came out in the open. For about a month she had been involved with another man. The signs were there, at one point I actually thought it would be an easy way to get rid of her. I had always felt that if she wasn't happy with everything I gave her and did for her that she was ungrateful. After everything came out in the open I packed my bags and went to a friends. I have been there since 5/1 now.
At first she was apologetic, said she would do anything to stay together. I stumbled across this site on 5/3 trying to find answers to cope with the devastation and pain I was experiencing. That is when I realized how my actions had help lead to the affair. The more I read the more I realized that I had become a cold, withdrawn person that had let the stress & hours (60-70hrs a week) of my job rob my wife of every basic emotional need except financial security. Most of all I realized I really love my wife, that I really need my wife. I had always treated her like a queen as far as material issues were concerned. I thought that was enough. When I did not get the response I was looking for I shut down emotionally. After that she followed so there after. And now we are here. I am begging to try and repair the damage but she will not committ. She tells me that she will always love me but she is not in love with me. She supposedly ended the affair immediately after it was discovered but her reluctance with me leaves me questioning this.
I have read every page on this site and I am still left with the question "How do I convince her that I can meet her emotional needs?"
I have tried to get her to read the site. I even printed all the material off and made a book to make it easier. I did manage to get her to read "Why Women Leave Men" and the summary of the basic steps, both of which she agreed with, but she has shown little interest in reading further.
I really feel like I can meet her needs now that I understand what they are but I am not sure how to convince her that my intentions are real and to take that chance.
Any Ideas?
Last edited by DavidRoberts; 05/22/07 06:21 PM.
