The A is over & NC is established (since early Feb) but F?WW still spends some of her time in WS-mode (I believe this is not unusual). During these moments, she can be particularly nasty & most of the time I can smile, do the reverse babble thing, or just walk away.

Sometimes though, she find a good seam & keep mining. This morning she struck gold - saying that the A made us even (it squared us up), that she was entitled to do it & she owes me nothing. Whilst I know (or at least try & convince myself) that this is WS fog babble - it still hurts (& that's an understatement).

Many BS's must have experienced this; I'm wondering if there's tried & tested techniques (or whatever) that allow me to deal with this without LB's ?? I really want to tell her to shut the ****** up & walk away but I doubt this will help.

TIA.

b.p.m.

Well, do you want to win an argument, or win your wife back, bpm? If you want to trump her when she plays that card, I can think of several things you could use for snappy comebacks, but none of them will contribute to anything…except more acrimony. I don’t know if she had a revenge affair or exactly what happened, but if that’s what has happened here, you need to understand you gave her ammunition for a long series of vitriolic comments that won’t be out of her system for a long time to come.

That having been said, I don’t know if you’ve thought out and established your boundaries yet. If you haven’t, you should, and one of them should be that you won’t accept that kind of disrespect from your WW, particularly if it’s in front of the children. You can’t keep her from her disrespectful outbursts, but you can tell her you won’t accept them. If applicable, you say you know you’ve done wrong; you’re deeply ashamed; and when she’s ready to discuss things calmly and honestly, you’re more than willing. Then you turn around and walk determinedly away and go do something productive. That’s all you can do, pardner.

Hang in there.