Hey LG! I'm actually doing great... I really am!
School's out for summer and I can breathe a little, finished up with 12 hours of 'B' in grad school working FT .. I'll take that! The H & I are becoming friends... it's not the perfect situation but I guess life rarely is!
I have found this awesome recovery group @ my church... recovery from lots of things, but they asked me to sing & lead worship & it's been really good for me to share with them & learn from them and their recovery from addiction...which I apparently share to some degree.
I have found myself quoting you all as I talk to WSs I know & used to hang with - they seek advice from me not knowing I have changed... or maybe they do know on some level & seek me out. Anyway, I have realized a lot. Hearing the words fall from their lips - fog speak - I remember saying those tings & I can't beleive I was so clouded.
I am overcome every Sunday by the grace of a God who loves me anyway... and convicted by the knowledge that I am responsible for my choices.
I'm looking for a new job because to be honest - the "crack" is just a little too close - and apparently our dirt was all over the organization & well known - little hard to earn respect when the whole place knows I was a lying cheating pos... so, I'm moving on. And it feels good!
I have good girlfriends, we get together when we can. Friday nights are a permanent date with The Punk... (who finished Kindergarten today OMG! I have a first-grader!).
Dusted off my clubs yesterday & am going to the range tomorrow night if it doesn't rain.
Hate what I did. Can see the mess for what it was. Hate that I wrecked my H in the way I did. Know that I really hacked off his ba!!s if you will, and he needs an opportunity to prove to himself that the damage wasn't permanent. And who knows? God is good & He has a plan... so we'll just see! But I am so THANKFUL for being able to see what I had done to myself, to him, to our daughter... to myself. Never again.
I'm good, and still learning. Maybe that should be my name these days, "Still Learning!"
I posted a thread the other day - it's on pg 2, "just an update". I'll hang around - maybe some of the beauty that can come form the ashes I made of my marriage can help someone else.
It's my favorite story in scripture, his building beauty from the ashes of a rebellious city. *sigh*
Best,
