I need some immediate help before tomorrow morning. Please MB friends tell me the best way to proceed.

My WH and I check the email together, to detect any mail from the OW. I explained in my last post, that we thought it was best to keep the addy, in case we needed evidence for the police. (Now that I think about it, this was WH's idea to keep the addy....I wanted to change it)>

I am obsessed with sneaking and checking it alone.... I just went online and found ANOTHER DAMN MESSAGE!!!!! She wants to know if he got caught and why she hasn't heard from him.

I am so angry that I am typing while I stand up!!!!!!

Someone did not raise their daughter properly!!!!!!

She's one sneaky little thing, because she sent it on some type of message that gets deleted if I close it. That way, I will have no record!!! Is she devious or what????? They are both idle ALL day now that he's retired and school is over for her. I'm afraid that if I close it....will she know I rec'd it? I need a bit of technical advise too, I guess.
Should I delete and not repeat? Do I just get rid of this latest bit of crap? Or do I let WH know? What about that full honesty thing? How will I ever know if he can resist her?

Please copy and paste over on General Questions ll. There is more traffic - for the computer help.

Yes, the OW is usually quite devious. You just need to hang in there. Don't fly off the handle.

Believer, I thought I was already in the General Questions section!!! Now I'm confused!

Married,

How and where are you? Big K linked to GQII for you but I have not seen where you've posted a new thread yet asking for computer/snooping help. Did you get what you needed?

BTW, your initial thread on Just Found Out is one of the few I've seen (in my short 4 months on MB) to attract multiple posters with the experience a newbie needs.

Wish more newbies could do the same so their threads get the attention needed without getting lost in the GQII shuffle. IMHO (in my humble opinion) your thread is best kept on the JFO forum.....because you did....just find out, that is.

How's it going?

Ace

PS Just Learning is one of the best....you are blessed that he is helping you, and that he has the consideration to let you know he's not posting for a spell b/c he's out of the country. I'm learning right along with you. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

I know this reply is a little late but I am curious if you found out what program the OW is using to self destruct the email. The only program I have heard of that can do that is readnotify.com.

Hi SMof1BMof3!

The OW and WH both used Yahoo. In addition to the text messages sent via mobile phones and regular messages, she sent an OFFLINE MESSAGE.

Now, I've never sent a text message in my life, but I just KNEW instinctively that I had entered a whole new REALM!

The message disappears once it's opened and read. I couldn't save, copy or do ANYTHING with it. I couldn't breathe or think. I reduced it and came here for advice.

Needless to say, when I went back to reread it and enlarge the cryptic message....it was gone. I have an excellent memory for garbage, so I memorized the content. This little OW has definitely been doing this type of thing for a while...I thought of reporting her other really hurtful and nasty message to Yahoo. I still may, but for now, I have put her on the No Contact list for Yahoo and deleted the instant message capability.

I still go into my office to sit and stare at that message she sent...the one where she called me an OLD scary b*tch....I also stare at the deleted ones sent and received by WH. All I get is a error in the C Drive. I think these messages are irretrievable. I don't think I will ever know what some the text messages said either. The two of them sent countless texts!

Can you imagine sending a message with the subject: To Your Wife From Your Girlfriend. This is one of the most hurtful and damaging aspects of this horrible A. Of course she lacked respect for me, my M or herself....But to send a message to wipe my face in it like this? A truly hurtful and evil act.


I know it's not healthy for me to keep revisiting these messages. I am compulsive in regard to them. I hate Yahoo. You can be invisible....You can go into stealth....You can use this offline thing....You can rig it so that your folders are hidden.....It goes on and on.

I used to be so innocent, loving and caring. But alas! That was before I got scr*wed and Yahooed. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

Do you know what I really hate about myself? If WH presented this little tramp to me as one of his students in need of tutoring, instead of HIS WOMAN ...I would have tutored her. I would have helped her. I would have worked to help her get an education, so that her THREE CHILDREN AND TWO STEPCHILDREN would have had a better opportunity.

Sorry! You asked one tiny little question didn't you? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

As you can see, the OW truly got to me. Her comments and methods were cruel...So very, very cruel. I'm not over this one YET! Thanks for asking your question. You got my vent, instead of the brilliant professor! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

You got Yahoo Messenger - fantastic. For being SNEAKY on YOUR part that is. Just go to 'Log' and check if all contact history is logged. If not, under the options, do it. That way, you can go in anytime and check every single Instant Message.
For you, hopefully, your WH was not smart enough to cancel the log function - by default it normally is 'on'..
Best of luck.
Affairs SUCK.
TDL

A's do suck! How miserable the OW must be! good!

STDL,

Where do you find the 'log' option on Yahoo Mail?

Ace

I know how you feel. The OW don't care about your feelings at all; just what they want and that is your WH.

I relate to what you said about helping her if she had asked, before trying to get involved with your husband. I felt the same way, only because I would help anyone out if I was able to and if approached in the correct way. But, don't let your WH use the excuse he was trying to help someone in need. That is baloney. Mine tried to say the same thing. What? He could have talked to me and together, as husband and wife, we could have helped this woman before she became the OW. No ...the WH & WW's have tons of excuses and there are none at all. They chose to have an affair because they wanted to and did it and must accept responsibility for it.

Don't let this OW get to you. That is what she wants to do. You know, beauty fades in time and what matters is what is inside each of us, not what our looks are. I, myself, find beauty in every age, but the most magnificent beauty is what we bring to the world and each other, from within.

Has your WH written a NC letter to this one yet? Are you at that point?