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Last night, OW TMd my H. No response from him as far as I can tell. (He's out of town, I checked the phone records this morning.) He hasn't told me about it yet ... I think he will. If he tells me, I'll say "thank you for telling me" ... but what next? He gave a NC speech (no, there was never a letter). What can we do (assuming he wants to stay in NC)? Our Story
Happily Recovered from Double Infidelity!  DD1[about to turn 7] DD2[due at X-mas]
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he needs a new cell phone number, a new email addy, etc.. and NOT give them to her. no contact means no contact and she should in no way be able to contact him. if he is serious he will change these things no problem.
in the mean time i would figure out how you can block her number from reaching your h's cell phone.
mlhb
God first, family second, and all else will fall into place.
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NC means NO CONTACT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I sound like I am screaming because this one never ceases to amaze me. IF I don't want someone to reach me then guess what short of hiring a PI they will not reach me..... Change cell phone number, email address, home phone unlisted, move, restraining order, et al.
I always worry just a little about those that haven't gone the extra mile to insure NC and to protect the BS. Makes me think for just a moment that they like being pursued by OP and that just leaving the crack open a little may be necessary if their M doesn't work out.....Maybe not in this case but it does cause me to pause.
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He just called to tell me ... he says the TM said "Hopefully one random text isn't a big deal. Just wanted to say that I hope things are going well and life's getting easier." He said something like "at least it wasn't inappropriate".
I thanked him for telling me. He asked if I was ok. I told him that I really appreciated him telling me, it means a lot. I also noted that while her message itself isn't inappropriate, the fact that she sent it was. And that to me one random text message WAS a big deal.
He changed the subject, so I left it alone. Don't know what to do next ...
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I think you need to text her back demanding NO CONTACT.
#1 if you are the one to send it, it lets her know he is being open and honest with you -- and unwilling to participate in sneaky behavior with her!
#2 she is trying to open a window to sneak back into your marriage -- it is important that it get SLAMMED shut immediately. If you ignore it, she will be tempted to try again.
#3 if she is married, tell her husband that she's trying to open communication up with her affair partner....
nuff said...
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Text her my [censored]. I say you call the little Slutty McSlutster up yourself and let her know that YOUR husband dimed her out to you.
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T4C:
I like Lexxxy's.
It worked for us after D-day.
W would anwser the phone if she called.
Worked GREAT.
LG
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I don't want to come across as the psycho-wife, so I thought about something like this: "One random text IS a big deal. Leave us alone." This way she also knows that he shared the contents of the TM with me. OTOH - H wants me to drop it, leave it alone. He feels that since he ignored her, she'll get the hint.
Comments? Suggestions?
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I think you need to text her back demanding NO CONTACT.
#1 if you are the one to send it, it lets her know he is being open and honest with you -- and unwilling to participate in sneaky behavior with her!
#2 she is trying to open a window to sneak back into your marriage -- it is important that it get SLAMMED shut immediately. If you ignore it, she will be tempted to try again.
#3 if she is married, tell her husband that she's trying to open communication up with her affair partner....
nuff said... ditto I'd call the b*t*h myself and tell her to BUTT OUT and I'd call her husband
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She's not married, so at least yet another person isn't being hurt in this ... Pep & Seabird - I'd LOVE to know what you would say to her - I always value your input! OTOH - H wants me to drop it, leave it alone. He feels that since he ignored her, she'll get the hint. Input on this? He was O&H about it - maybe wait it out to see if there are any more attempts at contact?
Last edited by time_for_change; 05/25/07 02:46 PM.
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Pep & Seabird - I'd LOVE to know what you would say to her - I always value your insight! Thanks, but it probably wouldn't get through the forum filter. It would end up looking something like this: Listen you little **** ******* *** **! Stay away from my H or I'll ***** **** your *** ****** ***** right in the ****** ** and *****. After that I'll call a couple of *** ******* that I know and have them ****** your whole family with **** and ****** and even a ***** ********* or two. And just to make sure you get the point, I know of a place where ***** like you get **** ***** and **** until their eyes fall out. Don't make me call them. Have a **** *** day you **** ******** *** ******* ******************************************!!!!!!!! Something like that... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />
Last edited by Seabird; 05/25/07 02:43 PM.
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Leave us alone. Do not call. Do not write. Be gone. You are not wanted.
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I was thinking exactly what you typed Time:
"One random text IS a big deal...leave us alone."
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Seabird - not sure I have it in me to do that, but thanks for a laugh today! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Pep & Lexxxy - would you still do this even if H would probably be upset by it? The LAST thing I want to do is LB!
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I was thinking exactly what you typed Time:
"One random text IS a big deal...leave us alone." ____________ i like this too. and tell your H that it really is a big deal and you can not just ignore it.....ask him to please change his cell phone # so it does not happen again.
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I'm the wrong person to ask ....
YES
I'd make the call even if it upset my husband
it's a boundary issue
I have the right to rid my home of unwanted pests
OW is a pest
if H doesn't want her to be told to "GO AWAY" ... I'd wonder why
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advise your husband you want his support as you build fences that protect your marriage from invading enemies of your marriage
place it in that context
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yes, absolutely. I would do it without his knowledge or permission and deal with his anger/annoyance after the fact.
Because the fact is, his reaction will tell you a great deal. He has no business having any kind of reaction other than sheepishness and embarrassment. He should NOT be defending her -- he should be SUPPORTING you.
It needs to be the TWO of you against the evil invading your marriage. He would expect no less from you....right?
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Very true! Upon my DDay, I told XOM to never call me again. Over the weeks that followed, H basically told XOM that something like knee-breaking would occur upon contact w/ me or anyone else in his family. I thanked him for insuring that XOM would never contact me again. I guess there's a double-standard? LOL
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i agree. i don't don't buy the " well at least i ignored the text" crap.
mine ignored initial recontact as well for a short while... HE LIVES WITH OW NOW!!!! NO CONTACT IS IMPERATIVE.
call her, tell her what the other have said. tell her no contact means no contact, a random text is unwanted, GET OUT OF OUR LIVES!
and insist your h gets a new cell number. this is a boundary that is non negotiable. as long as she can still reach him, the temptation will ALWAYS BE THERE.
your h has got to be doing whatever it takes to make you feel safe.
mlhb
God first, family second, and all else will fall into place.
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