Please help me! We have been married for about 6 years, and I noticed that from the beginning that he had some issues with porn...But he always had good excuses!! We've started to have some problems with our intimacy (like once a month) and I thought he just didn't like being intimate with me.
I want him to stop, But he is denial!!Then I catch on his computer a lots of pics and downloading videos on the internet.
I'm very Angry with his denial and tired of him throwing his craps on me...such as lying and saying that I'm extremely jealous and obssessive with it ....
Should I leave? I'm Christian and I do NOT accept this situation in our lives!! I'm 8 months pregnant (I just lost a Baby boy last July due premature labor) and had a to be in bed rest for this one....
He claims to be a Christian, and is active in our church, yet he feels like this is capable to advice people!!
I feel so betrayed and disappointed.
I could handle this if he would come to me (as , and tell me he is struggling, or he has looked at it, but I only find out if I catch him! I asked him if he would be willing to go to a Counseling, but he said that nothing is happing.
This has really damaged my trust for him... several times he has looked at me and lied, when I have evidence to the contrary!! what should I do?

Welcome to MB.

The porn question is big around here. First, can you quantify his addiction? How much time is he spending a day looking at porn? How frequently does he do it? Has it escalated either in amount, frequency or the type? You know moving from Playboy, through Hustler to really hardcore or weird fetish stuff.

I’ll make a confession. I have no real problem with Playboy or Penthouse magazines. My BF reads them, and I’ve actually read a Playboy article. However, when my ex was spending time looking up escort services and checking out free porn on the Web, I had a problem. In part because he wouldn’t go to the pool with us in order to stay home, and because we had no sex life. My ex wasn’t addicted, but the computer brings it to a whole different level. Some how it’s more real. And it’s certainly more accessible.

If your husband is truly addicted, you may want to ask your pastor for help. Your husband won’t like it at first, but addicts don’t like being told they are an addict and have to give up their fix.

If he’s not an addict, maybe you two could negotiate this using POJA.

It seems you have two complaints. One, there is not enough marital sex, and two you don't like that he looks at porn. Maybe you could discuss the first problem with him without bringing up the issue of porn. If he starts having sex with you more often, there would be less time for porn and maybe even less interest.