However, in the Lord, neither is woman independent of man, nor is man
independent of woman.
1 Corinthians 11:11
God created man and woman to be together; it's Satan who is the father
of isolation and loneliness. A veteran member of the Billy Graham
Crusade team once told me that the number one need that Graham speaks on is
loneliness. Even when surrounded by thousands or millions of people, we
feel alone, detached. We yearn for intimacy.
Yet Satan sometimes succeeds in isolating married couples and other
family members from each other. The impact of his tactics cannot be
understated. Isolation makes suffering unbearable. Your heart can grow cold,
indifferent to things of ultimate importance.
Isolation can make you vulnerable, bringing a loss of perspective-about
self, life and others. Isolation can cause you to conjure up wild
imaginations about your mate's thoughts, plans or motivations. You may even
contemplate taking your life.
Isolation is particularly dangerous for a teenager. When our daughter
Ashley was about 14 years old I asked her what she felt the results of
isolation were. She responded, "When I'm isolated from others, I feel
empty and cold-I feel alone and like I don't have value."
When our son Benjamin was a teenager, I told him, "One of the most
important issues in our relationship is that we not become isolated from
one another. That's what the enemy wants. He wants you to become isolated
from us and think that we are your enemy, that we don't have your best
interests in mind.
The solution to isolation is the "I-Solution." I must take
responsibility for my part in relationships. I must ask for forgiveness when I've
hurt someone and they want to hide from me.
The difficulty with applying the I-Solution, of course, is that first
word, "I." The I-Solution involves dying to self, giving up my anger and
pride, and the right to revenge. That's the key to defeating this enemy
of intimacy.
Discuss: In what ways can you implement the "I-Solution" in your
marriage to defeat isolation?
Pray: Ask God to make you aware of any isolation that is destroying
your intimacy as a couple or as a family.
Familylife
