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Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 614
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Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 614 |
Yet another example why you need to make rational choices about the people you invite into your life when you have kids and not foggy ones. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/18884363/?GT1=9951
Me (32) H (33) 3 DD's 9,8,2 1 DS 4 Married 4/19/99 According to Mrs. W I am now Delightful in GA. LOL 
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Joined: Feb 1999
Posts: 7,298
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Joined: Feb 1999
Posts: 7,298 |
That's an extreme example. Much more going on there than an affair fog...bad as they are....
How sad.
Consider how hard it is to change yourself and you'll understand what little chance you have in trying to change others.
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
A child's chances of being sexually molested or beaten are greatly increased when children are introduced to lovers. Dr. Harley often quotes statistics on this.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
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Joined: Sep 2003
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I saw that too. The problem (which we see here all the time) is the fact that lovers are involved in the children's lives. There are a whole gang of affairees who immediately introduce the lover to their kids. Even if they hardly know their lover, the crazy thinking makes it seem fine.
I knew my ex for 6 years before we dated. We dated two years before we became engaged, and it was only then that he came around my kids. And I still stayed very involved to watch the interaction and discipline the kids, even after we were married.
The mother was only gone for a short time before her 4 year old was slain. I think there were probably signs that the jerk wasn't a good guy. But she probably ignored them.
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 253
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Posts: 253 |
This is an evil deed of a sick man. From my point of view I also feel that the parents (both of them) neglected their children and left them in the care of a strange man.
But I just wonder, can you define the boyfriend as an OM based on the article? The article says that "the Smiths had been married for eight years". If they are separated and legally divorced, is the boyfriend still an OM? I can't draw any conclusions from the article about the state of the marriage, for all I know the father may have been a WH and left his wife.
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069 |
She and OM had lived together for a year - and the father was in Iraq last year. Sounds like an OM to me. And this wasn't a case where the killer struck the child too hard in a fit of anger. He beat the boy with a belt, fractured his ribs, damaged his internaal organs, and fractured his skull over a 2 day period. The mom will probably insist he is a wonderful man except that he beats kids to death.
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 253
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 253 |
OK believer, I see the logic in that. I think the most important point is what your first post was about, that parents are responsible to not involve new persons in their childrens life until they know that they can trust them.
A friend who is working in a womens shelter told me about another mother who remarried. It did not start as an affair, the mother was already divorced when she met a new man. The new man abused her 12 year old daughter sexually and was found guilty and sentenced to jail. But the mother still defended him and claimed that "at least it was not rape" since there was no violence involved. Her daughter has broken all contact with both of them.
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Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 614
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Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 614 |
Why_us that is so sad. If anything happened like that to one my kids I would would not make any excuses and I would want the sick bast### to rot in jail while they did to him in there what he did to steal my child's innocence.
There is no excuse. If I was that child I wouldn't talk to either of them ever again. He defiled her child and even if he did by only metally abusing her I sure she didn't want to be touched in that manner by someone he was to be a father figure to her.Her mom should have gone to jail too. Just my .02
Me (32) H (33) 3 DD's 9,8,2 1 DS 4 Married 4/19/99 According to Mrs. W I am now Delightful in GA. LOL
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Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 614
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Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 614 |
Mel I didn't know this thank you for sharing. If nothing else this makes me give being tempted a third and fourth thought not to go down that road. My kids are very precious to me. I definitely would not have let my kids just stay with anyone for an extened period of time unless I knew them very well.
Me (32) H (33) 3 DD's 9,8,2 1 DS 4 Married 4/19/99 According to Mrs. W I am now Delightful in GA. LOL
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