How'd you handle it? Finding my STBXH and his OW on Facebook along with our large community of friends has sent me into a spin. Somehow cyber world has a way of throwing the reality of my situation in my face.

It would be sad to take myself out of the community of friends I've built up, but now I know I'm going to find myself checking his 'friends' profile to see which of my friends are on his. So far OW and he are not 'friends'.

Anyone who knows Facebook will know what I'm talking about. I guess this must sound childish, but would it be better to remove my profile completely and take myself totally out of this situation?

For those who know what I'm talking about, your experiences or thoughts would be appreciated.

My XH and his GF (that left him ... sorta) are on myspace.

She has lots of "friends" - mostly men. XH mostly has celebreties and a few co-workers etc. on his.

Actually I find it rather telling. The fact that his GF has so many men friends wouldn't sit well with me if I was in XH shoes - but hey... fog land is fog land, right?

JinGA

Funny you say that. OW has mostly young, attractive male friends. STBXH has a few co-workers (but he only joined today so I'll give it time).

The only reason I joined Facebook was because all his siblings invited me through email. I thought - why not? I really didn't expect STBXH to join. I thought he'd be too ashamed as the community we're involved in is made up of hundreds of people who know who he is and what he did. But alas, here he is.

I'm fearful that girls who were jealous of me within that community for being the wife of a sort after man will become his friends. I don't mean to sound like I'm in high school, but it really does feel a bit that way right now.

It has really just made me realise how vulnerable I still feel, how I'm far from 'over' this and how depressed this is making me feel as it reminds me of my failed marriage - which always had eyes on it within our large church-based community.

OW is on Facebook. She has her profile blocked air tight though. Meh. What are you gonna do? Very unflattering picture as well. *shudders*

Oh my XH used a pic of US together (taken for a magazine layout about our business) and he cropped me out on one of his "networking" pages. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> We were separated at the time so we weren't looking like a "couple" but I thought that took a lot of crust.

Before GF came along, he was out there on all the dating sites, with nice statements like, "I married too young, and for the wrong reasons." He listed himself as divorced over a year before it actually happened. To my knowledge he does not have any such pages (personals/dating sites) anymore but he does have myspace and some others - although from the appearance of his page, he's not trolling for women. Other than the GF and her kids, he's just got co-workers and celebrities, nothing overtly personal. He still lists himself as "in a relationship" and describes his GF as his "fiancee" (there was never a ring or a date, and she moved 2000 miles back home a little over a month ago... he hasn't abandoned that though. Neither has she - she still lists her location as here and still "in a relationship" (methinks it may not be the "same" relationship LOL!).

JinGA

I wish I'd never been invited on Facebook. Hadn't even heard of it before last week!

I feel I'm stuck. Because even if I take myself off and delete my profile, I'll be tempted to constantly check X's friends. I find it so hard not to do things like that (or are we all that way?!).

I'm finding myself feeling anger toward her all over again. From day one she has treated me like I don't even exist. I sent her an email just after D day and didn't get a response. Her father is on facebook and so is her brother. No sign of a mother and her father's profile on myspace says 'single'. They say woman (or men) who break up marriages don't believe in marriage. It makes me wonder what her story is.

Anyway, oh I don't know what to do. I'm just sick of this rollercoaster and wish I could go to a far away country where nobody knew me and I could start my life over.

Unbelievable JinGa!

XH (or he will be in about 6 weeks) has put this bright happy smiley photo of himself on that has been clearly taken by OW (she immigrated to my country to be with him and he's here with no friends or family). It just makes me sick. I wish I could have a bit more self-control and just put it out of my mind, remove myself and never look him (or her) up again. It doesn't do us any good!