I haven't been back to MB in 4 months. I sort of did Plan A but had timeframes when I was very angry. I'd like him to hear from you guys- about WS doubts and success stories, about taking a risk and letting defenses down to see if love can be restored. Maybe hearing from you will show him he is not alone in his feelings, that we can turn around this difficult time little by little.

It's been 6 months since D Day. My longtime 12+ yr. boyfriend had cheated on me with someone he works with for 6 months. Per Dr. Harley after 8 yrs. of living together the relationship is prone to an equal amt. of divorce as marriage, so is treated like that. (know about renters)Eventually, he stopped returning her calls and her text messages. For the last 3 months, she hasn't called but a couple days each month texts him from AM to PM. He doesn't respond. Except 2 weeks ago, he took a vacation day, she texted him 7 times- the only time that month- he answered her call and talked for 25 minutes- because the messages wouldn't stop he says. She was concerned. I was so angry yesterday when I found out.
He admits he made wrong choices but doesn't believe "everything can be saved." He's stopped reading "Love is Never Enough" about communicating and one of Harley's books. JC didn't work- she sent us away after 5 visits to talk and commit, then come back. He goes to IC but tells me he talked about which one of us would give up first recently, and didn't even tell his counselor he is considering a job across country.
Friday he is deciding if he is accepting the job and I imagine if he'll want me to go or not. He's slept on the couch for the last yr. Says he has no emotions for anyone. I am so sensitive to his actions and words now, and what he doesn't do or say. It hurts that he doesn't see what he lost with me.

I tell him we can see our mistakes in not communicating in the past, and now is our chance to fix them. I've made some changes, to me the solution is pretty clear for some things that weren't great between us. That now we have new information about how to communicate better. That now we are making an informed choice to love in a way that can be most fulfilling for both of us. I tell him we need to replace bad habits with good ones. If he believes, we'll fail, we will. He just says "everything can't be saved"

Please help.
blind_hope