Weaver,

Because you asked I will tell you that getting here was a long process. And my stance isn't without compassion or empathy for anyone in pain, whether it be physical, emotional, or spiritual. Especially when you have a similar experience under your belt (betrayal due to adultery). And with an Affairage experiencing adultery you can relate & empathize to that once awful pain. But it doesn’t go much further, except for the prayers I offer up on their behalf.

Jo

It must have been a long process. I still cannot find compassion for anyone who is actively lieing to another human being (as in a cheater). I can after they stop, but not during.

Maybe it is because this was the betrayal I experienced with roadrash. I don't think I will live long enough to find compassion for someone who would take away all choices of another human being while staring into that persons loving eyes, and I don't want to experience empathy with them.

But once they become former liar/cheater my compassion seems to return.

My gawd, we're a deep lot here. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

LH,

"Not one single spouse who is not yet in recovery has come to me and no one has spoken of such a despondent spouse coming to him or her. I think it’s logical to conclude that, while the concern of many on MB in that area was legitimate, the fact is people are able to take it in stride. I thought they are all tougher than many give them credit for. I believe my faith in them has been justified."

After all these posts it still does not occur to you a newly minted BS is not going to want to talk to a defender, supporter and helper of arriages, nohow.

sheeese...

I am an old and tarnished BS and I don't want to talk to the gopher of an arriage, nohow.

[color:"blue"] Longhorn, have you put me on "ignore"?

just curious [/color]

Excellant point. Duh!!! I presumed it was also likely they had NO IDEA what he was getting at. It's about as confusing an invitation that I've ever seen. Exactly how many post divorce D-days are there out there. Affairiages are newbie's fear for the future. They, as I did, search the board for success stories after D-day. Is this fixable as the good Dr. Harley says on the main website??? Seeking "victims of affairage" newbies??? Really??? Compounded by the fact he claimed he succesfully demonstrated there weren't any and thus Bob Pure's arguments are proved false. Whatever.

However, speaking of Gophers, it brought to mind my all time favorite and funniest post ever (It was more in context the first time I posted and even then Mrs. W did not find it that humorous...check it out at your own risk).

Click here ----> Gopher Moat

Good day,

Mr. Wondering

Aphelion, where's your proof that is the case? Actually, I've received many an email from newly betrayed spouses, and some repentent wayward ones, thanking me for not making arbitray judgments.

Now, don't stoop to calling other MB'ers names, please. I'm pretty sure that's against the TOS for this site.

LMAO

So now you resort to ridicule, Res? I thought a lot better of you than that. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

You're cracking me up. You're writing like Mr. Rogers. LOL

Sorry. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

Bye, Res.

LH, don’t get your knickers in a knot. Whenever I hear someone complain about a mere name, I think of Alice and the White Knight:


Alice was walking beside the White Knight in Looking Glass Land.

"You are sad." the Knight said in an anxious tone: "let me sing you a song to comfort you."

"Is it very long?" Alice asked, for she had heard a good deal of poetry that day.

"It is long." said the Knight, "but it's very, very beautiful. Everybody that hears me sing it - either it brings tears to their eyes, or else -"

"Or else what?" said Alice, for the Knight had made a sudden pause.

"Or else it doesn't, you know.”

“The name of the song is called 'Haddocks' Eyes.'"

"Oh, that's the name of the song, is it?" Alice said, trying to feel interested.

"No, you don't understand," the Knight said, looking a little vexed. "That's what the name is called. The name really is 'The Aged, Aged Man.'"

"Then I ought to have said 'That's what the song is called'?" Alice corrected herself.

"No you oughtn't: that's another thing. The song is called 'Ways and Means' but that's only what it's called, you know!"

"Well, what is the song then?" said Alice, who was by this time completely bewildered.

"I was coming to that," the Knight said. "The song really is 'A-sitting On a Gate': and the tune's my own invention."


And then there is the song itself, which does indeed make me think of some here:

I'll tell thee everything I can;
There's little to relate.
I saw an aged, aged man,
A-sitting on a gate.
"Who are you, aged man?" I said,
" And how is it you live?"
And his answer trickled through my head
like water through a sieve.

He said "I look for butterflies
That sleep among the wheat:
I make them into mutton pies,
And sell them in the street.
I sell them unto men," he said,
"Who sail on stormy seas;
And that's the way I get my bread -
A trifle if you please."

But I was thinking of a plan
To dye one's whiskers green,
And always use so large a fan
That they could not be seen.
So, having no reply to give
To what the old man said,
I cried, "Come tell me how you live!"
And thumped him on the head.

His accents mild took up the tale:
He said, "I go my ways,
And when I find a mountain-rill,
I set it in a blaze;
And thence they make a stuff they call
Rowland's Macassar Oil -
Yet twopence-halfpenny is all
They give me for my toil."

But I was thinking of a way
To feed one's self on batter,
And so go on from day to day
Getting a little fatter.
I shook him well from side to side
Until his face was blue:
"Come tell me how you live," I cried,
"And what it is you do!"

He said "I hunt for haddocks' eyes
Among the heather bright,
And work them into waistcoat buttons
In the silent night.
And these I do not sell for gold
Or coin of silvery shine,
But for a copper halfpenny,
And that will purchase nine.

I sometimes dig for buttered rolls,
Or set limed twigs for crabs;
I sometimes search for grassy knolls
For wheels of hansom-cabs.
And that's the way" (he gave a wink)
"By which I get my wealth -
And very gladly will I drink
Your Honour's noble health."

I heard him then, for I had just
Completed my design
To keep the Menai Bridge from rust
By boiling it in wine.
I thanked him much for telling me
The way he got his wealth,
But chiefly for the wish that he
Might drink my noble health.

And now if e'er by chance I put
My fingers into glue,
Or madly squeeze a right-hand foot
Into a left-hand shoe,
Or if I drop upon my toe
A very heavy weight,
I weep, for it reminds me so
Of that old man I used to know -
Whose look was mild, whose speech was slow
Whose hair was whiter than the snow,
Whose face was very like a crow,
With eyes, like cinders, all aglow,
Who seemed distracted with his woe,
Who rocked his body to and fro,
And muttered mumblingly and low,
As if his mouth were full of dough,
Who snorted like a buffalo -
That summer evening long ago
A-sitting on a gate.


Very fitting, in my opinion, description of anyone trying to normalize an arriage.

O
M
G

I think I've been ignored. That's the first time in 7 years on this board. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" />

We still loves ya Jo.

*******************edit*****************

Correction: second time. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

I know better than that, Pio. I have friends in high places. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

Thanks BK. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

BigK,

Did resilient say something? I can't see what it was. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

Before you answer, let me make sure I'm not ignoring you too!

Last word. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

ARE YOU SURE YOU AREN’T GEMELA POSTING UNDER A DIFFERENT SCREEN NAME???? I MIGHT AS WELL BE TALKING TO MY WIFE!!!!! GO AHEAD AND POST BACK AS LOUD AS YOU WANT. I’M OFF TO WORK IN THE GARAGE. I WON’T HEAR ANY OF IT!!!!