Update:

Today I move back into the marital home. I was awarded the house and physical custody of the kids on a temporary basis about a week ago. The wife was forced to rent a place and move out. Despite the domestic violence charge, the judge saw through my wife's lies.

I also have been allowed to release my polygraph information. Shortly after my wife made her DV charges, I took a lie detector test and passed. Because of my bond release conditions, I have been severly limited so as not to have any contact at all with the wife. These orders have allowed my wife to tell her side of the story without my side. I hope the existence of the polygraph will my friends and neighbors to think twice about my guilt.

My kids are very alienated from me. It's going to be extremely difficult today for them and me. I will have to lean on God and let time heal these wounds. I don't know whether I will share the polygraph results with them yet.

I'm a finalist for a very nice position in Seattle. I have decided that if I am offered the position, then I will take it. I will fight for the kids and move them. My position would actually be in Redmond. I really liked the Lakeland area East of Lake Washington.

Adultery is profoundly difficult and ugly. I suppose I have been on Plan B for a little over a month; although I have no interest in reconciliation. The wife is still cleaved to her lover and he is still seeing her.

I do not let myself have any fond thoughts about my wife. I force myself to detach from her and I remind myself of her affronts to me. I remind myself that my wife is as if she had passed away.

Well, sorry times have been so hard. But the fact that you are in your home and have temporary custody is GREAT!!!!!!

Personally, I would share the results of the polygraph with the kids. It is very sad what your wife is doing to them. It is very sad and sick what she is doing to the other betrayed spouse who is recovering from cancer.

Your whole situation shows a desperation that is somewhat unusual.

Good luck on the job. I'm in Seattle now, helping my mom take care of my sick father. It is really very nice. Even though it does rain a lot, it is a fun city.

Hi hww

Good news about the job possibility. As a native of wet, western Washington I can tell you that if you do get a job on the eastside, you would be best to find a place that keeps you off the two bridges for your commute. But there are lots of great towns near where you may be working. The schools over there are also very good. If you take the offer and want some insights on good areas to move to, feel free to email me.

I was a BW going through cancer treatment while my XH pursued his A. I hope and pray that the OMW has a strong support system. I did, and it made a huge difference.

I would let your kids know the truth. You may want to do it with the help of a good family counselor who specializes in divorce issues in families.

Hey believer, I hope you kept your power during the latest windstorm! I live north of Seattle now in the Skagit Valley. Thank goodness our powerlines are underground. I hope your father is okay.

Good luck hww. Hopefully you will be joining us in the beautiful Pacific Northwest.

Thank you believer and johnstwin. It's late and my day with the kids went well. It's such a tough transition on them. I am glad the three kids are so close in age. They can rely on each other a bit more as a result. I have great children.

Really great news. It's really encouraging to see a judge come through for someone...anyone here.

Only caution...it's a huge victory but still only a TEMPORARY order. How is your STBXW handling this??? If she puts up a big fight and the kids remain nuetral or adamant about not moving out of state you MAY find yourself with an uphill struggle winnng primary custody and being allowed to leave the state with the kids.

The kids are at the age where they will likely have a huge say in the matter (presuming your wife fights). Though it doesn't sound like your interested in staying here in Michigan it may behoove you to actually win custody first and then petition to move.

You see...the judge may feel he has already punished her enough for making the trumped up domestic abuse charges against you. He/she may yet prove hesitant to give you full permanent custody and allow you to leave the state. This week he slapped her down...but over the next few months he'll be concentrating on "the best interests of the kids" which will likely include SOME relationship with her...if she wants it.

Don't start packing yet.

Mr. Wondering

Update: Well my first two weeks have been good with the kids. I'm really in Plan B / D now. I had to stand up to the wife on a few matters. She tried to get the kids to disobey the custody order and have them spend the night with her. I told her I would ask for sanctions, but allowed the kids to spend one extra night with her.

I'm now getting these long emails from her. Because of the DV charge, I have to be very careful of my communications with her. Plan B also says to not communicate with her unless absolutely necessary regarding the children.

I never sent her a Plan B letter. At this point, a Plan B letter could be a problem for me under the DV case. It also feels moot.

The wife and the OM are still going strong. The OM's wife fully intends to divorce him. He apparantely started a new job in the area, but he has to make a one-way 70 minute commute every day.

Thanks everyone. I'm going to Redmond, WA in a week for an extended interview and get-to-know the area trip. I now know I'm one of two finalists.

I thought I would write an update. Everyone was so helpful on this site and I'm closing in on the end of my little story.

I had my trial and was acquitted; not guilty. The jury took less than 15 minutes to find me not guilty. It was as close to vindication as I could get.

I was offered the position in Redmond and I've accepted it. I'm heading out to Seattle next week for the annual meeting. I've secured a condo in Bellevue and will start full time.

My kids are really hurt. No question, divorce is really really hard on kids. I'm comfortable with the path I've taken from the standpoint of the kids. The STBXW is a really ugly human being shacked up with an equally ugly human being. The kids may decide that she's not the person they want to live with and will move to Seattle. At that time, I will be in a much better position to take care of them. Some of you may disagree with this decision, but I know it was the best decision for my kids and me.