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JustMichele #1884604 06/01/07 09:30 PM
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Michele, I am so sorry your H said that to you. Mine said the same thing so I know how that feels. Just know it was a result of the FOG and he can fall back in love again.

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I really hope he comes around. I will work on finding the OW. I need peace about that.

When we find out who it is, rest assured there will be no "peace." <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


MelodyLane #1884605 06/01/07 09:36 PM
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He is coming here tomorrow, to pack up his stuff to be out of the house. I am going to be here because he is taking my car, and there are a few things we need to decide which one of us is getting. I will be attractive and not emotional. I will bite my tongue to not do any LB's. I just am not sure where to draw the line. Am I ok saying the things I've been saying, or should I be keeping my mouth shut regarding his contradictions?

DO NOT contradict him!! It is a lovebuster and you can see it gets you nowhere. You have said what you needed to say about your relationship, so now is the time to be attractive and PLEASANT.

Is the house nice and clean and PLEASANT? How about putting some great dish in the oven that he loves and smelling up the house with great cooking smells?

If you get the urge to let him have it for some stupid, hurtful comment, just remind yourself that by reacting, you are helping the OW. Any lovebusters make the OW LOOK GOOD and your goal here is to help MICHELE and her DD's, not the OW. We are now on the HELP MICHELE PROGRAM. Got dat? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Me 37
H 42
Daughters 18 and 16
Continuously working at not taking each other for granted.
MelodyLane #1884607 06/01/07 09:38 PM
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p.s. a WS tactic that you should watch out for is baiting the BS into a FIGHT. DO NOT, under any circumstances, allow him to bait you into a fight. This helps him JUSTIFY an affair, which is the equivalent of handing him ammunition to use against you.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


JustMichele #1884608 06/01/07 09:50 PM
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I realize that's pretty typical. Is it also common for them to change their story so many times? Is he looking for the one that will finally make me lose hope?

He is looking for some bullcrap that will STICK. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> He is like the kid who whistles going past the graveyard, who knows he is SCARED TO DEATH [and full of crap] but is trying to convince himself otherwise. As long as you remember it is all fogbabble and don't take it seriously you will be fine.

I hate to sound so certain, but I really am certain there is an affair in the woodpile. This has all the markings.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Me 37
H 42
Daughters 18 and 16
Continuously working at not taking each other for granted.
JustMichele #1884610 06/01/07 09:57 PM
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I'm trying to keep things as light as possible. Again, not sure I'm doing the right thing.

You are doing very well. Are you thinking of things you can do tomorrow to get the most out of your visit?

Are you prepared to BITE YOUR TONGUE if he says something hurtful or unfair?


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Me 37
H 42
Daughters 18 and 16
Continuously working at not taking each other for granted.
JustMichele #1884612 06/02/07 12:18 PM
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KEYWORDS for TODAY: Pleasant and ATTRACTIVE. No whining, crying, pleading, b*thching; only behavior that is ATTRACTIVE and PLEASANT. That is your STRATEGY. You have a STRATEGY, he has an affair that is based on a fantasy addiction. A STRATEGY can always overcome the plans of a falling down drunk.

If you feel an urge to cry, whine or lovebust, just remember that helps the OW. This is NOT the HelpTheHo-Bag Program, but the HelpMichele Program. You are smart, strategic and savvy and you have a mission to save your marriage. Your mission is NOT to give into your very wounded emotions because that will HURT MICHELE. And this is the HelpMichele Program. Got dat?

Stick to the mission, Michele. Be strong!


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


MelodyLane #1884613 06/02/07 12:21 PM
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Melody, your words just put a smile on my face. (could be because my name is also Michelle)

Thank you. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />


FBS - 28

Status: Divorced (thankfully)


MelodyLane #1884614 06/02/07 12:22 PM
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Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Ms_Manners #1884615 06/02/07 12:25 PM
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Melody, your words just put a smile on my face. (could be because my name is also Michelle)

Thank you. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Then you can be on the HelpMichelle Program! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


MelodyLane #1884616 06/02/07 12:31 PM
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LOL!

We'll be our own little membership. Two strong!


FBS - 28

Status: Divorced (thankfully)


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