I miss my best friend. Please remember where we are right now, I think you are bringing up the past when it has no place here. I pray God softens your heart and you remember how much you love me too.

I do get diverted into the past. You seem to be ready, able and willing to bring up and discuss the “past” when it helps your case or you are the “victim” moving back to New York for example.

However, if and when I do the same it “has no place here”.

In many cases people will say past performance is a good indicator of what will happen in the future. I am actually kicking myself because based on the past, that you say has no place here, I should have seen this coming a mile away. This is very much the same as many of the other decisions you have made.

You make a decision on your own without consenting me. A big decision. One that affects everyone. That benefits you or what you want. This makes the past relevant, because it is your pattern.

Now I will have to make the same choice I always have too. Live with it or don’t. How many times in a marriage should I have to make that decision?

What protects me from this continuing to happen when you want something I don’t? You bring up me making the decision to live here. I will say this; you made the decision when you moved here. YOU made the mistake of moving here and expected me to fix it. I am not your fix it man. I am supposed to be a partner, an equal partner. By the way not moving doesn’t give you the right to always make every other big decision. That isn’t equal.

If you decided it was a mistake to be here do not blame me for not FIXING YOUR MISTAKE. I am tired of living like I owe you something or you sacrificed something. You made the mistake of moving here you should have fixed it by leaving and going back. You chose not to leave; I don’t want to hear you loved me or anything else. It was clear that moving was your biggest mistake and you should have fixed it.

You ask me not to bring up the past well there it is you have held on to that one mistake I didn’t fix and used it to justify all of this I have had to deal with.

That one mistake that you made that I didn’t fix for you has haunted me since you realized it was a mistake. Since that day you have felt entitled to do what you want when you want where you want and with whomever you want. And you have done those things.

Just an FYI, I am still dealing with things I just found out about your last big mistake that you decided to hide for years. I am also dealing with the financial fall out from that mistake as well. I was feeling more and more that this marriage was getting better and we could put this behind us. I wasn’t there yet. It takes time to heal from things I didn’t know.

You don’t even have the courtesy to let the dust settle on that. And by the way we never did it my way where you told me I had to just let it go. I gave up and gave in to doing it your way because I was tired of fighting for the truth.

Since then I have been tasked with fixing them, or living with them or ????

Then you fall back on how we are different people and I said I wanted 3 kids. I did until all this stuff kept happening which changed my mind. Thank you for changing it back for me.

Now you want God to soften what you continue to harden??

I was not bring up moving back to New York for any other reason then to point out I don’t “Always” get what I want. I am very happy here with you, bottom line. You went on how I think that was a big mistake, I don’t. What are you talking about? I have already apologized time and time again for my actions in the past. I have taken responsibility. I am very hurt by you right now.

I am not going back and forth with you on this. The other day you said it was a mistake to come here and to marry me. Your standard we should have never gotten married speech because we are SOOO different.

Taken responsibility? How. You held off on that until taking responsibility was nothing more then words. I loved you enough to try to move past that. Now this.

You are hurt right now? Stop looking inward and imagine how I feel.

I said some things to you the other day because I was hurt; you said some cruel things also. I hope you didn’t mean what you said, I didn’t. I know you are upset, but at what? What is going on now or everything from the past? You are bringing up everything I’ve ever done wrong, that’s not right. You are turning this into something other then what it is.

Your words about us being a mistake are a constant theme in our discussions as a diversion from the true topic. I know it is just the passive aggressive way to deal with it.

I am upset that you AGAIN made a life changing decision on your own. A decision that the brunt of the financial burden falls on me. I am not done dealing with the brunt of the last decision you made and now this. So since that part of the past is still present I am upset about it. I am also upset that yet again YOU deceived me. You lied to me through omission, I thought we were done with that. I thought you were a different person. A person that would never do anything to damage our marriage again by lying or hiding something from me.

What a joke.

You got what made you feel good today and can’t understand why you feeling good sometimes makes my life harder. You seem to be able to trade our future together for what you want now quite easily. Seems like the past is present again. You got what you want and in the end that seems to be what matters. Damn the future, Frog will figure that out. IF he doesn’t like it too bad as long as it feels good while I am doing it and You is ok with it.

You take responsibility for your actions? How? Your actions made me question having another child right now, but that’s too late you couldn’t live with the fact your past made me question that so you did what you wanted.

I have a lot to figure out now. How to pay the taxes, how to fix the credit. What to do with YOUR CAR. Do you know if we will be able to make that payment?

No more MMA for OS. Baseball will be the bare minimum for YS. No more camps or academies we won’t be able to afford all of that.

I will not get a new car. I will be back to the grind with the bills.

Thank you.

I am not turning it into anything. It is exactly the same thinking and the same entitlement that has rocked the foundation of this marriage.

You really need to talk to someone about this, your mom or your sister maybe? Why don’t you print out the emails and have someone take a look at what’s been written and see what they think of all this.

Yes, She was selfish. But, Now? You get to be much more than a frog. You get to be the KING.

Remember that.

Guys,


Thanks. You are all right.

I just feel beat up by this. She seems to get what she wants when she wants but I am going to be a daddy again.

I want some material things to be honest. We started having kids before we were married never really caught up.

She knew what she was doing. Good for her.

She won. Now on to the life I was given.

LOL.