Long story short, H and I married within 4 mths of knowing each other (I was pregnant). H is narcisstic, controlling and emotionally abusive. H put spyware to keep track of all my whereabouts (I was not doing anything wrong). I moved out of marital home and filed for divorce. I agreed to stop divorce process and continue MC. H has shown great improvement and I stay at his place most of the time.

Anyway, I recently found out something VERY disturbing. During that time he sent my spyware, he also hacked into my ex-bf's email account. He used ex-bf's email to send all his contacts (including his parents) nasty emails. Also, he sent me emails asking how I was, etc. (I knew it was H's doing and did not respond to his cat-and-mouse game). I also found out he set up a fake myspace account portraying as me and used that to try and contact my ex.

Now this event occurred during the mist of our troubled marital times. I truly believe H treats me much better now, however he denies doing any such thing in MC. I am having a tough time moving forward w/o H being completely honest with me. I am afraid that he will do something like this again to me in the future. I am not sure if I should just let this go or what? Please help!

Let me get this right - you had a boyfriend while you were married?

No of course not. I said it was my EX-bf. My ex-bf and I were already broken up before I met my H.

wow, he sounds very controlling, jealous, insecure, just to name a few.

i think this can make for a very dangerous situation.

what does your mc think about this stuff? discuss it privately with them before you confront h. he sounds "off" to me if you know what i mean. that is not, under any circumstances, healthy behavior he is exhibiting. if my ex had done stuff like that, i would be scared.

mlhb

In my opinion, and it is only my opinion, I would get out. At least until you see some improvement in him. If you do, then stay around lurking in the shadows (figuratively speaking) and watch him. If he improves after a few months, then give him a few more. Bottom line is you need to see improvement or you are just delaying the inevitable and raising a child that will pattern themselves after him.

I am not saying give up, far from it, but you have to see something. That is really unhealthy behavior.

Expect the worst, hope for the best I always say.

Good Luck

If your H really is Narcissistic, then all this is just a ploy to reel you back in. The quick marriage, the use of BF's email and myspace to disparage you, the lying to make you look like you are crazy are all red flags for Narcissism.

Check out this site and see if it sounds like your DH.http://groups.msn.com/NARCISSISTICPERSONALITYDISORDER/home.htm

If it does, RUN LIKE THE WIND!