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Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 6
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 6 |
Hello all,
I need some guidance on a sticky situation. My husband just admitted to having an emotional affair and instead of repenting, he wants a divorce. He said he wasn't happy in our marriage, but failed to tell me until I found out about his affair. He ended it, but feels he is not worthy of being my husband any longer. He says he still feels like he wants to cheat and liked it. I want to work things out and use the tools that I've learned to stop his cheating heart. We've been married for 7 years with a 6 year old daughter that he adores. What can I do to? I already told him that I forgive him and I understand why he did what he did... I did not meet his emotional needs and now I'm asking for that chance, but he insists that it will not work out. Help!
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Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 192
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Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 192 |
Don't persue him and let him make the decision. The more you pressure him the father away he will be.
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Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 1,149
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Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 1,149 |
((ongbasa))
Welcome to MB. I am so sorry you have to be here, but this is a great place to get the help you need. Week-ends can be kind of quiet but I think if you start by reading the links on How to Survive Infidelity, The Most important emotional needs, and Dr. Harley's basic concepts, you will find some insights.
Also, go to the Just Found Out section and read the information for newly betrayed spouses.
Then, post this on General Questions II. There's more traffic there and also lots of pros who can really help you with a plan.
Finally, I would encourage you to get Dr. Harley's "Surviving an Affair" where he outlines Plan A and Plan B.
You are in good hands.
johnstwin-
"I may not know what the future holds, but I know who holds my future." -Martin Luther
Remarried my FXH 25 years to the day of our first M. God is so good-and sometimes so unexpected!
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Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 6
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 6 |
Thank you for the advice.
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Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 1,171
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Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 1,171 |
Methinks he did not really end the affair...
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Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 42
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Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 42 |
Yeah, my H pulled that one too -- no chance to reconcile -- but there is no one else. Turns out there was and still is.
It hurts.
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Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 605
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Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 605 |
He still feels like he wants to cheat and likes it?
Smells to me like he is still in the affair. His saying he feels unworthy is his effort to sugar coat and hide what's really going on. This way he gets to play victim. Saw this happen in my own marriage. "Guilt" forced him to want to end the marriage. Yeah, right.
Married '85
Me: BS
D-Day 7/02
Plan B 5/03, 7/03
Numerous False Recoveries
I filed 2/06
Divorce Final 4/30/07
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