Wow... thanks, Pep... that's just what I was looking for!
I've been so swamped at work (end of year school stuff), and then my family was here this weekend. H is in class right now, and I finally had time to check in. I appreciate the bump... holy cow, how did you find my first post?
Anyway, thanks to everyone interested in an update! Things with H are going really well. We are no longer in MC, and I am no longer in IC, but I am continuing working on myself through journaling (right now I'm doing the weekly exercises in "The Art of Living Consciously" by Nate Branden. It's amazing, and I'm really learning a lot.) H and I still have bumps in the road, but we talk all the time and work through them. I think we would both agree that our life is now wonderfully fulfilling. We have a real relationship. We still have pain regarding the A...I think me more so then him (at least he tells me he's completely forgiven me and is fine.) I unfortunately still think about OM quite a bit. Not in a sentimental way, or an angry way, or an anything way... he is just there. Sometimes I think this is just my cross to bear. I wish he would disappear, and it frustrates me that he still crosses my mind on a regular basis. Sometimes I know it's a trigger... I'm stressed, I need a break. Other times, I know it's environmental... if I pass by the place he used to stalked me at, it's a reminder (H and I are hoping to move next year.) While sometimes it makes me angry, most of the time I try and think of it as God's way of reminding me to take care of myself, my family and my M. Don't forget what happened... don't ever forget what you did.
After I spoke to OM wife, OM (or his W) called me in March. I came home from work and the phone rang, and when I looked at the caller ID it was him. I nearly had a heart attack. I told OMW she could call me anytime if she had questions, but to leave a message because I would not pick up if I saw their number. There was no message left, so I'm unsure if it was OM or if it was OMW who decided to just not leave a message. Since then, I haven't heard anything, although I think I saw him on a street corner on my morning commute last month. I couldn't be certain though.
Other than that, things with H are great. He's my best friend and my saviour. We're having honest discussions about subjects that were difficult in the past, like kids. We're fighting, but finding peace in our solutions (even if we don't agree.) I've since confessed my A to several good friends who are also co-workers, who knew about my situation with OM at the beginning of the school year last year (although they didn't know it was OM.) One has continued to be my friend, the other has pulled away. That's okay... I did it for me and my H, and for more real, intimate friendships. I understand how upsetting A are for people, and I respect that.
So as far as an update goes, that's about it. H and I are still working through stuff, and enjoying our discoveries of one another. He and I are a MB success story. God Bless you all!
KM
