First time here on the boards and don't know what to do or where to post.

I'm from England so already feel out of my depth here in what seems to be "US Territory". I'm a 50 year old male, with a 42 year old wife who just announced she wants to leave. "I do not love you any more, it's just all gone; can't see the point of trying anymore; I'm fed up with just plodding along. I want to end it. "It" being 21 years of marriage with three kids (21, 18 and 16). Big mortgage, big debts, etc.

Just read the Love Busters Section and I know why. Selfish demands, disrespectful judgments, angry outbursts, independent behavior. I can see me described in all of these, in spades.

I think I'm going to lose her.

But I don't want that...

Anyone out there been through this?

I don't know if I can do this on my own.

Hello 50_Something,

Welcome to Marriage Builders (MB).

I'm sorry you feel out of your depth here.There are many folks here from all over like Australia,New Zealand,etc.And many good guys from the Uk.This whole site is chock full of people who have been through what you are going through and much,worse (adultery).

Do you know if your wife is involved with anyone else?

Please hang on.There are plenty of people who can help.

First of all,this particular board is really slow.You could try the Emotional Needs board first.There is more "traffic" there.If you are looking for some company by way of country,seek out Bob Pure on the Infidelity General Questions II message board ( though it hasn't been established that your wife is having an affair,that is THE busiest board here.Lot's of people and posting going on).I would suggest reading all the concepts here too,if you haven't done so already.

Have you considered counseling?

Hello AmericanBeauty, thanks for taking the time to reply.

I don't think there is anyone else, although I can't rule it out yet.

We (she) have (briefly) mentioned counselling, but only to the extent that she wants help to find out the best way to split up, not to see if there is any chance of continuing.

I have posted in the Emotional Needs forum as well. So I will take your advice maintain posting there.

I have a lot of reading to do from the MB site, and I feel not a lot of time to do it.