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I just want to thank MB for another success story. Here is a quick recap for those who do not know my story:
5/5/06 - W meets OM at a work Cinco de Mayo party. They hit it off.
6/2/06 - W and I have a huge knock-down-drag-out fight, I withdraw and LB.
6/22/06 - W and OM hang out for first time by themselves.
7/8/06 - OM tells W he loves her at house party AT MY HOUSE!
7/28/06 - WW doesn't come home, says she got drunk and slept in her car (actually stayed at OM's apartment)
8/13/06 - Last time we had SF.
8/16/06 - OM leaves job and moves out of town, starts recruiting my W to come with him.
8/25/06 - D-Day, I find email that she is meeting OM in NYC. I get ILYBINILWY speech. I start modified plan A the next day even though I hadn't found MB as of yet.
9/6/06 - I relunctantly agree to move out and live with my parents so she can get the "space" she needs to make a decision.
9/23/06 - She goes on a 5 day vacation to NYC with OM.
10/3/06 - I move back in after I figure out the "space" I've given her has only made things worse.
10/29/06 - W tells me she wants a D, I find that she's been looking at job and apartment websites in OM's city, I find MB the next day and start reading.
11/3/06 - I post my story on MB, do a little more digging, and find my WW's EA is a PA. I expose to EVERYONE. WW tells me I ruined any chance of us reconciling. She starts calling up lawyers.
11/8/06 - I overhear a conversation of my WW telling OM, that she's just going to sponge off me until she saves up enough money to move and D. I immediately go to plan B, separate my finances, leave her a letter that tells her she needs to get new insurance and find a place to stay by the following week. She leaves me a message (crying) saying that she can't commit to M, but that she agrees to NC with OM and will not D at this time. I weigh my options and decide to go back to plan A.
11/28/06 - NC is broken the first time. WW buys calling card and calls from payphone, but I catch her.
12/16/06 - NC broken again by same method. I don't find card, but I do find purchase on her online bank statement.
1/18/07 - NC broken again, but WW does it from her cell phone and tells me before I find out. She says that she called him to end it for good and say goodbye.
1/26/07 - NC broken again. WW says she asked him back for some of her stuff.
1/27/07 - Last breach of NC (TMs). WW says it is about arguing over the items.
2/07-3/07 - Things finally start to improve. Starting with Valentine's Day, WW agrees to hang out with me, and I plan about 1 fun activity per week including murder mystery dinner theater, meeting the St. Louis Blues after a game, Mardi Gras, touring the Missouri wine country, her sister's birthday, dancing at a club downtown, trivia night, etc.
4/07 - WW finally agrees to go on vacation with me. She starts saying ILY again, and wants to hang out with me all the time. She purchase new furniture for the house and starts acting committed to our marriage again.
5/23/07 - WW and I go on a vacation to the Pacific Northwest. It is a HUGE success. WW starts wearing her ring again. Keeps saying ILY.
6/3/07 - After 43 weeks of sexual frustration, Jim FINALLY gets SF again. Hooray! She also starts talking having children together in the future which was one of things she was adamant about not having before and during the A.
I just want all you people who are struggling through similar situations to understand that things can turn around, it just takes a VERY long time and A LOT of patience. I wouldn't be her if I didn't keep believing and sacrificed my own needs while I worked on meeting hers and avoiding LBs.
Jim BS - 32 (me) FWW - 33 Married 8/31/03 No kids (but 3 cats) D-Days - 8/25/06 (EA), 11/3/06 (PA) NC agreed to - 11/8/06 NC broken - 11/28/06, 12/16/06, 1/18/07, 1/26/07, 1/27/07 Status - In Recovery Jim's Story
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M2L
ME BH 36 - FWW 33
2 kids
DDAY May 06
Sometimes waywards can be like Laxatives ..... They irritate the crap out of you.
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Congrats Jim <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />.
ManInMotion
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(see "MiM's Story" for more details)
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<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
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She also starts talking having children together in the future which was one of things she was adamant about not having before and during the A. Possible the best sign yet. You still have work ahead of you. Keep it up, and contratulations. Larry
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I am happy for you Jim. Keep up the good work on your marriage and keep helping others here as you've been doing...you are an asset to MB through your experiences.
Married 1976
Me:BS
Him:FWS
MB Weekend March 2003
2 S's: '77 & '80, 1 D: '82
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Congrats my friend. So happy to hear that things are finally looking up for you (no pun intended) <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Dev
BS - 31 (me)
WW - 29
M ~2 years, No kids
DDay - 2nd Dec 2006
Exposed - 15th Jan 2007
NC started - 14th Jan 2007
NC broken 23rd Jan 2007
NC broken many times since
Status: WS moved out 22 March 07 "to think"; A ongoing still; 2nd July 2007 - signed Divorce papers "I'm done!"
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Jim,
Just a point of clarification: we are talking with a human being this time right?
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Well done Jim! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />
There will be pitfall along the way but keep doing what you are doing and you will be fine.
HTW
Married 10 years, Legally Seperated Aug 2,2006 1 year of Plan A followed by 1 year of Plan B... ...now stepping towards recovery????? BH 37(me), WW 35, DB 7 & DD 5 My Story My struggle with an EA
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BS 33 EXWW 35 DS 5
OM1 9/06 - 03/07
OM2 04/07 - present
Divorced May 8, 2008
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Jim,
Just a point of clarification: we are talking with a human being this time right? Of course. I wouldn't have even mentioned if it weren't with a human being because the beastiality has always stayed constant throughout my entire situation. (Sorry in advance if this offends some people's sensibilities. I'm just joking.)
Jim BS - 32 (me) FWW - 33 Married 8/31/03 No kids (but 3 cats) D-Days - 8/25/06 (EA), 11/3/06 (PA) NC agreed to - 11/8/06 NC broken - 11/28/06, 12/16/06, 1/18/07, 1/26/07, 1/27/07 Status - In Recovery Jim's Story
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Jim,
You are a good man!
I appreciate your sharing your success story with (ME).
It erases any delusions I have of "speedy" recovery, but recovery nonetheless!
This gives me much hope!
BS(Me) - 47
Ex-W - 44
D final - Dec 08
Kids - 14s,13d,8d
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jim,
i wish you continued success in this journey.
and boy do i get that frustration.
43 weeks is a long time. try 2 and a half years! mine slept on the couch that long and i in the bed. no touch, no hugs, i ily, nothing. total physical and emotional abandonment. i wouldn't wish it on anyone. (of course HE wasn't going without, only i was...)
i can't imagine how wonderful you must feel today. i hope the sf continues and bonds you closer together.
i'm kinda wierded out now knowing what YOU TWO were doing last night.. giggle blush
mlhb
God first, family second, and all else will fall into place.
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i hope the sf continues and bonds you closer together Hope not like glue <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" />
M2L
ME BH 36 - FWW 33
2 kids
DDAY May 06
Sometimes waywards can be like Laxatives ..... They irritate the crap out of you.
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Go Jim Go!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />
Married 23 yrs
WW-46
Me- 47
DD18
DD11
Dday #1 - Oct. 8 2006
Too many other D-Days to remember
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Way to go, Jim! Great job.
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7/28/06 - WW doesn't come home, says she got drunk and slept in her car (actually stayed at OM's apartment) There MUST be a WS book out there somewhere. My FWH used the same excuse! Congrats!! I always LOVE reading about a MB success story, cause I know it helps other BS out there who are wondering if it's possible.
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
“In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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Yay, Jim!!
I'm so very, very happy for you.
You are such a great guy.
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