After cheating for three years

After lying to me over and over and over again over NC

After telling me that we will see how the next year goes and reevaluate and then registers under matchmaker.com

After telling my children of his affair "but it's a secret"

After all his BS, I finally served him with D papers

What does he say? I have to live too we barely make it together as it is. Well boo hoo hoo

I need to get a new bed because I cant sleep on the futon, boo hoo hoo

Does this mean I have to move out? Yes.

After 20 years of marriage, not even a one damn tear.

I have been stressing and hoping that maybe the D papers would be a final wake up call. Well it wasnt for him but it was for me, what a lying cheating souless ****** that I married, what a waste of time.

Now he thinks he is going to have custody of the kids, in a pigs eye.

Why would he think that he will get custody of the kids?

gird your loins

he's gonna go full court press

I dont know why he thinks that he is going to have custody. In his fog I think that he gets to screw everything up and get everything in the end. And I believed his BS about how sorry he was, and how he was going to try to make things better. What crap.

My lawyer says that since I have been a stay at home mom for the last 6 years and he has been on the road all that time it is a sinch that I get the kids.

But... My 13 yo may choose to live with his dad and I cant find out anything in the state of oregon if he is old enough to make that determination. I know we are a no fault state. It makes me sick to think that he might end up in the custody of the alien abducted jerk that i had the misfortune and stupidity of marrying

take some deep breaths

Your husband is probably just trying to indimidate you. I saw this on the internet - but check with your attorney -

If the parents cannot agree, the court will decide who gets custody. The court cannot award joint custody unless both parents agree to it.

"The court's primary consideration in awarding custody is 'the best interests of the child.' In deciding custody and determining the best interests of the child, the court will consider all of the following factors:
- The emotional ties between the child and other family members;
- The interest of the parents in the child and their attitudes toward the child;
- The desirability of a continuing and existing relationship;
- The abuse of one parent by the other; and
- the willingness of a parent to encourage the child's relationship with the other parent.

The court cannot give custody to a parent only because the parent is the mother or the father of the child. The court will consider the child's emotional ties or bonds with the person who has been the primary caretaker of the child. The primary caretaker is usually defined as the one who attends to the child's basic needs on a daily basis and this is often the parent with whom the child is living. It is a very important factor in determining custody issues. The court will consider the conduct, marital status, income, social environment or lifestyle of a parent only if it does or may cause emotional or physical harm to the child. Courts are reluctant to separate siblings."

Thanks, I am just so freaking mad right now. I dont know why now that I feel like tearing his heart out. I guess I hate being lied to and I hate that this ahole has been talking to the kids and telling them not to tell mom. That is the thing that makes me the maddest.

I know kind of how you feel. When my son turned 18, he announced he was going to go live with his dad (in Oregon, actually)- the same dad that never had contact with my boys, and never paid a dime of child support. It about killed me. My dad told me to let him go cheerfully. I did, and my son was calling in 4 months asking me to get him a ticket home.

Good, no pity party you <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> One of you has to act like a grownup. Guess you get the job since he won't man up to it.

It is unlikely to the point of ain't gonna happen for a Court to let a 13 year old live with a traveling man, truck driver I assume.

Larry

sounds to me if he is griping about buying a new bed...he might not have the money for attorney....take care of yourself right now I know how you feel...you will be in my prayers...

HaM,

I'd rather see someone mad like you then someone deepy depressed.

Take that energy and do constructive things with it. Vent here like you have, and then go do something positive that will help change yours and your children's life for the better.

Its perfectly normal to be MAD or ANGRY. It's healthy to a point, but don't let it consume you honey.

God Bless,
Jo

Ham,

Get mad and use that anger to bury these alien masquerading as a man and father. He has about as much chance of getting custody as Hitler does escaping ******. Get him for child support, spousal maintenance, everything under the law.

Use that anger and hurt to "work" on your case.

hurtandmad,

Will you do me a favor? Will you email me in the addy in my signature line? The reason I ask is that I am a live MB person and an MB oldie...and an oldie <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />...living right here in Oregon. We don't have to meet if we are across the state or anything, but I am VERY familiar with Oregon's laws and courts, and I think I can help you. If nothing else, I'm a live person, sort of nearish you who is also familiar with MB...and I could be sort of a shoulder to cry on.

I'll look for your email!! (((((hurtandmad)))))



--CJ

P.S. Mon chere, I am sorry to hear that yo baby daddy lives in our fair state. Shall we kick him out for you?? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

I made the mistake of talking to him. Of course the whole thing is my fault. I am not good talking with crazy people. He didnt realize that he is court ordered to leave the house. He couldnt believe that he didnt have a say. "it's my house, you cant make me leave" I just kept repeating that you are court ordered to leave. I have let him stay because stupid me I was hoping that finally he would realize what he is going to lose. I was hoping that I would hear him say "oh honey no, please" Instead I got the BS I said b4. And all of that was centered around him.

This is even more crazy. A few weeks ago, I got a feminine infection. I know he doesnt use a condom, (lucky me I have seen the video) and I could put it off no longer. So I went to the gyn and had myself tested. Luckily it was just some wierd yeast infection that didnt act like a regular one. When I told him how upset I was, he was like well nothing came of it, so no harm no foul I guess. My words not his. I try really hard not to be humiliated most of the time, but sticking your legs in the stirups to check to make sure something isnt going to fall off is by my standards, well humiliating. Sorry if TMI

Some malicious gossip. He broke it off with her because not only was she sleeping with my wh and her h, she also had another on the side. Pretty sad huh?

He asked what I wanted from him. I told him that I had told him a hundred times. NC, which he broke again and again and again. He said I thought we were making progress, I asked him how when I know that as of the 19th, the last cell bill, that he had been on the phone with her for 75 minutes.

I told the kids tonight that I had asked their dad to leave. WH said since I filed and had done that on my own I should tell the kids too. No acknowledgement or acceptance that he has been talking to the kids for some time. Some tears, honestly mostly from me. Got hugs from all, told them I was really sorry. Then I let them talk to dad. We will see how it goes I guess.

HAM,

I don't know if you saw my post yesterday, but I had me email addy in my sig for a while hoping you'd see it and email. I have taken it out of my sig and put it in my profile, if you'd like to get in touch.

I know Oregon feel pretty "wild frontier" but you're not alone!



CJ

HAM,

We all know how humiliating the results of their behavior is to us. We have been there too.
{{{{{HAM}}}}}
Hugs to you. Take your anger and use it to help yourself and kids get through this. Keep it from destroying you or making you vindictive (even if we want to be).
Best wishes,
FTS