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she says she does NOT want to be with OM gievn that he betrayed her trust Gee...if you can't trust an adulterer, who CAN you trust?
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Just found out that OM was in town and met with my WW 2 days ago! She most likely saw him this evening as well!
Went out to return some shoes at 8:00p and returned at 11:30p.
Even saw e-mail suggesting trip to Texas and OM would meet WW there if WW went alone (or most likely with GF).
WW has IC with S Harley in 2 days -- wonder if its worth paying for her to go. Mine is on Friday AM -- I feel like I need some serious guidance right now.
Feels like someone standing on my chest right now!
Its really hard to keep up this plan A (almost 2 months) in light of this occurrence!
Somebody help me make any sense of this and what to do!
BS(Me) - 47
Ex-W - 44
D final - Dec 08
Kids - 14s,13d,8d
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Well you have two choices:
1) Wait for the IC which is now only hours away.
2) Go to Plan B.
I suggest you hold out to see what Steve says. It is definitely worth having her talk to him. If she doesn't make that call, then go straight to Plan B.
I will also repeat that you have to expose to OMW by hook or by crook.
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Also, please don't even consider SF with this woman until the dust has settled and everyone has been tested for STD's.
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Swade,
Can you list out everything you know about OMW and where she is living?
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Pio,
All I have is name of OMW that's it!
I have nothing else on her.
OM is very secretive with info! I cannot find any current home info on OM at all.
BS(Me) - 47
Ex-W - 44
D final - Dec 08
Kids - 14s,13d,8d
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Where does he work? Is it public or private?
I thought you had an area code for the phone number. I also thought you were looking for PI's in a certain city. On what did you base that?
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I only have East Coast cell phone (Annapolis MD) registered to OM. He is from Baltimore MD though. That had his last known work address before he came to California.
He worked last year as a 6th grade math teacher in California (not too far from where I live).
I do not even know where his family is at this time - East Coast or back in california where I am located.
OM's personal home info hard to come by.
WW still agrees to meet with S Harley tomorrow.
BS(Me) - 47
Ex-W - 44
D final - Dec 08
Kids - 14s,13d,8d
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Well some things I believe:
WW is addicted. She doesn't understand why she is doing some of the things she is doing.
WW does want the A to end but doesn't know how.
WW is looking for a way to end the A or, better said, for the A to end itself.
Now I think those are things Steve will tell you on Friday or he will tell you that you are wasting your time. It's worth the wait.
I believe Steve will give you a solid plan.
WW knows OM is not a viable option.
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My $$$$$ in my pockets are getting thin!
I anxiously await a solid plan from Steve.
I cannot even go to work today as I cannot even focus on my tasks. My WW will be home from work (on light duty) from now until 8 Aug.
I had wanted to take a family vacation between now and then to get the kids some enjoyment before returning to school on 13 Aug and to get WW (and me) away from home.
I would very much like to contact OMW!!!
OM has my WW fogged out as he tells her he "is in love with her"!
Last night when going to bed, WW strokes me and also suggests she wants to do a family activity this Friday!
I did ALL I could to remain calm (refrain from dejected look vice anger) in the face of the facts!
I said I would definitely look into doing something -- would be nice!
BS(Me) - 47
Ex-W - 44
D final - Dec 08
Kids - 14s,13d,8d
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Has anyone ever used the TV show 'cheaters' for exposure of OP and WS?
I know this would hurt if kids are involved and it also does not expose OMW!
BS(Me) - 47
Ex-W - 44
D final - Dec 08
Kids - 14s,13d,8d
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Can you email any specific info you have to BigK and he can email it to me? Or you can ask BigK for my email address and you can email me directly.
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To clarify - specific info on OM?
BS(Me) - 47
Ex-W - 44
D final - Dec 08
Kids - 14s,13d,8d
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I would just like to see how much can be found out through the internet. I think some people might be willing to help you. It can't do much harm.
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I used Intellius.
I paid for a background check on OM.
Was unsuccessful in doing a reverse cell phone lookup to find a home address of OM.
I came up with some old addresses as well as name of OMW and OM (potential) kids (two of them).
I checked the old phone numbers which are disconnected or has new residents living at those locations.
BS(Me) - 47
Ex-W - 44
D final - Dec 08
Kids - 14s,13d,8d
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Swade,
I saw you wrote in another thread that you wanted to contact me about your OM's W.
I stuck an email address in my profile (for today only), so go ahead and write me what you want. [Hint: click on my screen name]
- WG
BH 40, Married: 2002, Discovered affairs: Fall 2005, Divorced: Spring 2008
Advocate grace daily
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BS(Me) - 47
Ex-W - 44
D final - Dec 08
Kids - 14s,13d,8d
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Why not confront your wife with her lies?
Tell her that you KNOW she met up with OM, and that you're not going to accept her lies to you anymore?
Part of the whole process is to make being in the affair painful for your WS. That means confronting and re-exposing when they break NC.
I've not been following your situation closely, so maybe I've missed something. But that's my suggestion. Confront, and make it uncomfortable for her to continue to get away with her affair.
This is what I did to my wife when she broke NC.
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Owl -- here's what I was thinking:
I would let WW have her meeting (alone) with S harley first in the morning -- next, I have my meeting (alone with Steve at his request).
Once I get my gameplan from Steve, I will move forward.
By the way Owl, If I say "I am not going to accept her lies" anymore, this puts the ball in my court to DO SOMETHING. At this point, I do not know what I should do until I speak with Steve. If I do nothing, then WW sees nothing but idle threats!
This is why I did not want to confront WW today, because it would force me to make a move.
Before speaking with Steve, my instincts would be to put WW out of house for awhile until she meets BCs.
I will see if this is still wise based on his IC session with my WW tomorrow.
Ultimately, I still want to contact OMW to expose A.
I am working on this trying to find her!
BS(Me) - 47
Ex-W - 44
D final - Dec 08
Kids - 14s,13d,8d
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Good points...if your meeting with Steve is tomorrow, then waiting until then for guidance makes sense. If it was a week from now, I can see all kinds of reasons why you wouldn't want to wait that long to take some kind of action.
I would also recommend that you have already thought out several courses of action already, so that you have those available as discussion points with Steve when you talk with him.
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