So here is my story, Been married for 4 years will be 5 this Oct. For the past 2 months my wife has been texting and talked like crazy to her X fiance who also happens to be my step sons Dad. She also had two girls nights out where she met up with him at the end of the night before she came home. I confronted her about this on May 11th and she apologized about the increased talking and texting. She said that he is going through a hard time that his Dad is dying and he is going through a divorce and he does not have any friends.

However she flat out lied and did not admit to meeting up with him on the two occasions when she went out with her friend. Since I confronted her she really has stopped all the texting the only calls that happen are calls that are made about my step son. I'm really at a cross roads as to where I should go with this. I have the proof and know that she did in fact meet up with him on two occasions. I love/loved my wife with all my heart but feel really in different to her know. We have a beautiful 2 year old girl that means the world to me and I just to not know what to do.

I do not know what may have happened on the two nights in question but if a physical affair did take place she can not break contact with this man who is my step sons father. I will have to live with this for the rest of my life.

Since the 11th my wife is acting like everything is normal and peachy. I'm to on the outside but inside I'm just a mess. Should I just let it go for the best of my family or should I pursue the truth and damn the conscience that the truth may bring?

As long as she sticks to that lie, you will never feel comfortable again in your M. If I was you, I'd let her know this, instead of pretending that everything is all right.

Welcome to marriagebuilders. You need to pursue the truth, or it will always be between you.

Then she needs to end contact with him for any reason except step-son. Also the girls nights out need to go, as it has turned out that it WASN'T a girls night out, but a DATENIGHT with her ex.

Yeah she has not had any girls nights out since. Or loss of unaccounted time. At this point though what is even the use of getting her to even admit to seeing him at he end of these two nights? I know that one night she spend anywhere from about 2-3 hours with him and the other night she was with him for 1 hour. She has done everything to hide/lie these facts from me so when/if she does come clean after hours of fighting I highly doubt she would tell me what exactly even happened during the time she was with him.

I would more then likely get some BS story that they just talked or something. So what is the point in that? I have lost so much in all of this that is there anything to even get back in all of this? At this point I think the only thing I can get is the 50% time share with my daughter and move on.

You judge a person by their actions and not by their words and her actions speak volumes in addition to her lies of omission. Her behavior towrd you shows a great deal of disrespect toward you and your marriage.

Yeah leave or stay I think I need to be able to close the door on this. So I will have to sit down and talk with her about this. I just do not know how to start in on this. One thing is for sure I'm done fighting about it. Problem is when she lies she gets uber defensive and wants to fight to cover it up. She has broken off the contact and what ever was going on.

That I do know of for sure. We are leaving on a cruise this Monday. So maybe I will wait till we get back and then break this to her. She also has planned a date day/night tomorrow for us we will be going to Disneyland and a movie.

So should I feel happy that she has clearly chosen to stay in her marriage to me even though she feels that she should not tell me what she did? I can't help but feel distant from her and want to push her away even though from reading things here that is probably not the best things to do.

I feel so sorry for you. I can only imagine how difficult it will be for you to enjoy your vacation. The problem is that you are married to a spouse who has no problem lying to you with her encourters with her former lover behind your back. She may have cut it off for now but it sounds like she will have no problem starting it up again if she gets bored or has some problems in the future. The problem is that you are married to a spouse who lies to you and has no problem in using lies in your relationship.

Do you honestly feel if the roles were reversed she would sweep it under the rug? If you do not have trust and respect in a marriage then what in reality do you really have? It would not be a bad idea for you to get checked for
STD's. I know this hurts but better safe than sorry.

i think that's the best solution. I wish its just a friendly talk and she'll tell you so that both of you can leave all of these behind.