I was married for a little over 8 years but my husband was in jail most of the time. While he was incarcerated I became pregnant and kept the child. I just got a divorce in 2006 and realized that I did not feel as though there was any closure. Unfortunately I went back to dating him about 3 months ago. He manages to remind me that I should get my tubes tied and he is afraid that I will trap him. We have 7 children ( I have 5 stepdaughters and he has 1 step son and the child which was born while he was incarcerated) I love all the children and would not do anything to hurt them. However he has managed to tell me I spend to much money and I talk to much and he was afraid I was going to trap him. I have managed to get two of his vehicles out of the shop and there was no discussion about me wasting money or not saving money. I have found him to be verbally abusive and always wants to be so secretative. I am very independant and has managed to keep everything since he was incarcerated plus gain more. I am confused about how I should just walk away from such a negative man.

Who do all the kids stay with?

It sounds like you've already gotten divorced. You aren't living with him, are you?

It sounds like you make your own money, so I wouldn't worry about what he says.

Why exactly do you have trouble walking away? Is it the kids? Even though you are a step-parent, you should talk to a lawyer about possible custody. With him being in and out of jail, you might have a good shot at that.

His 5 children live with their mother's. No I do not live with him and yes I do make my own money. I just felt like I owed him and our relationship another chance but unfortunately I do believe he has a problem with my family bond and financial stability. He use to be the bread winner but while he went to prison I decided to get my degree in the medical field.

Fruitbasket,

I don't see why. When you said he was incarcerated you didn't add, "for a crime he didn't commit" so I assume he was guilty. He chose to commit a crime even though it meant he'd be taken away from you. I don't see how you owe him anything. If anything, he owes you.

It sounds like you are better off without him, especially now that you are embarking on a new career. A career in the medical field is likely to put you in contact with men who are on the right side of the law, educated and responsible. You can do better.

So, what do you gain by being in this relationship?

Fruitbasket, the best thing for you is to distance yourself from this man. I don't see what he can bring to your life.