Well folks I think it is time (like BC) to let the painful thread and log die a natural death, like my marraige and start and new thread as I start a new Life...

What is painfully clear is that my WW is so far into herself and her entitlement mentaility I see no chance of recovery nor do I want the current reincarnation. Was I stupid, dupped or is she just fighting her own deamons, I don't know, But I do know it isn't a road I can stay on.

So Like BC and Dog before me, It is time for Jim to streach his wings and fly. Guys wait up!!! I learned a good deal through this...

I know I am a worthy person, a good person who isn't a quiter even when it would have been much easier (and less painful) to quit. I have learned (thanks to Orchid, Beliver, Jen, My best friend Kathy, my IC's Kim and Marian) that I am an attractive, fun, decent, honest, loving, givin, hardworking guy and by all accounts a "good catch".

I have also heard a consenious from my new friends as well as my old, that my beloved WW is an downright fool for tossing someone who would willing give her all he had and was away, and that by all accounts I am a "keeper...

So today I start my mew thread and a new life. I thank all who have held my heart as it broke, and listened to me whine. I thank Dog, Orchid for kicking me in the A$$ and helping find the courage to get back on my feet and standtall and proud. It is now time to talk about living and to try and give back to those unfortunate who follow me here... I hope I do as well as those who have done so much for me.

To all my MB Friends

Thanks

Jim

Jim,

Welcome to recovery. There's still a little rollercoaster action, but the rides a lot more fun. This is where you get to take everything you've learned in Plan A and B, the new and improved you, and share it with people who will appreciate it, the people you love, and ultimately the next lucky and hopefully final contestant in the price is Jim.

SO

COME ON DOOWWWNNN!!

Just trying to have fun, live life, put the peices back togeather and continue to rebuild my self esteam.

Jim

spoke with atty....

WW now appears in No rush to finish the D... She wanted a D fast, now isn't in a rush... Go figure...

WW also not talking Recon... What she is doing is anyone guess... WW not talking D, not talking recon, actually simply not talking... Cocerning recon, if the W (original version) asked I might entertain it, might not.I have NO intrest in the speaking with let alone being married to the residant alian... would rather Kiss a death addler...

Jim

she's circling the landing field unable to decide on an approach, a runway, a destination

she will eventually run out of fuel

just stay out of the way of the crash-to-be

LOL ~~~> "kiss a death adder"

pepperband can you explain that

the only thing i can think of is she is stalling to keep the ins going or to avoid a judgement where she gets 1/2 the debt... I don;'t think recon is even on her artifical horzain...


jim

What do you mean when you say what you said? Did it imply second thoughts? I don't get any indication of that...

bump pepper??? please explain

Jim

Just keep doing what you are doing. Growing, learning, rebuilding your self esteem, trying new things, becoming a better person.....Leave your WW to herself. Let her stew in her own juices and see where it leads. If it leads to her having second thoughts and coming back to you then at that time you can decide whether or not you are interested. If not, it will not affect you as you are a new and improved Jim ready to live life to the fullest with new opportunities and outlooks on life

Ok guess the reason I asked.

I have waited and waited and nada, now that i have given up the WW has for some reason decided not to be in a rush...

I think she learned she will be getting he share of the debt and not walking away scott free... i think she wants to postpone that but who can tell, I don't speak to her at all only dog and atty contact her and both are effective screeners. It is also possible the grass isn't maybe so green, but that is a guess...

Over here My life is really comming around and looking up.. I am enjoying it, no drama, I got a roomie lined up to ease the $$$ burdan, and of course mostly I have bumped into someone who has really caught my eye and peaked my intrest!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> She is extreamly attracive I mean a seriuus hottie... yow-za!! We are just starting to get to know each other, but so far so good I feel butterflies and am very captavated... all in all very cool (pretter then the STBX by a long shot too... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

So why when my life is finally really kicking into gear does she have this no rush bs kick in? Dosn't make sense...

Jim

Jim,

Who knows what's going on in WW's fogged out head. She probably is getting slapped upside the head with reality. Sounds like "too late" time is just around the corner though. You're starting to experience how good life can be without her.

Just be careful with your hottie. You know better than to rush in to something and you know what the dynamics of a R SHOULD be at this point. Just enjoy the company and try not to lose your head. You're in NO shape to be in a SERIOUS R right now.

Glad to see you enjoying life again. Just try to keep your head below the clouds and you're gonna be just fine.

checkin in

The roommate fell through... Oh well money will be tighter, but I'll find a way...

Have started dating met 2 nice gals both pretty, both nice,
I had fun with both both treat me considerably better then EX W

I have second date with Gal #2 she is a semi-MB alummni,
Divorced her WH a few years back, she noticed my collection of MB Books and said hey I have them HNHN,LB and the workbook... IS a beliver... made for intresting conversation... She mentioned she still has her EN questioneer. LOL

Come to think of it will E-mail her and tell her to bring her EN Q with... I have her over for BBQ, wine and a movie tonight. This gal is very intrestin as she was also my (highschool sweetheart's Best friend) havn't seen her in like 30 years... small world...

Jim






fan and reader, m alumm from here from severial years ago has a
who i

You go Jim.

Just take it slow, I am watching your new growth as much as your old. I too will be stretching my wings soon.

well me and # 2 have so much in common it is scary...aside from growing up a few miles apart and going to the same H.S. it also came out at dinner we eack liked each other in HS and were intrested... However neather said nothing when my GF moved away... Dating your ex-GF Best friend was Taboo and a gal dating her best friends EX-BF was taboo... so neather said nothing until now...

We work in the same industry, both grew up on farms and love anamils. Both love the Co fair, truck-tractor pulls, rodeos, country music.. This should be very intresting when we do the rec questioneer...


Jim

Wow, did I miss something since we last talked? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

L.

*sigh*

Jim--this one is a no brainer. Your WW is stalling on the D because she sees you sniffing around another female. She does want you for herself--but she doesn't want anyone else to have you either and you were her "backup plan" if all else failed.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Now, regarding #2. Dude, I am no saint myself, and I don't play one on TV, but just hear the wisdom of an oldie here will ya? It would probably be more healthy for ya emotionally if you had a little time on your own to heal from the D and grow a little bit personally. It's not IMPOSSIBLE to do with another person, but just from a statistical point of view, the likelihood of repeating the mistakes from THIS marriage are enormously higher if you jump right into another R. OTOH, if you learn about yourself and learn from your mistakes (aka, take some time), the chances of you repeating the same mistakes goes WAY down.

Word to the wise.



--CJ

YUP.... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> seeing both, but leaning hard to #2. we have alot in common, grew up on farms, showed at co fair and 4-h
went to same HS (was my 1st GF best friend) lives 12 miles away. dosn't have problem with dutch treat as she knows my budget is stressed. She want my M over before she gets to serious (good on her) is a MB convert.

We went through the rec questionear yesterday from workbook, had like 9 things we both scored as +3's, dual +2 were to many to count...

have sat down and swapped our ENs (need to write her down)
is cute, and attractive (not quite as much as Gal #1) but being available to be seen has a quality all its own...
we just past 15 hrs since friday 4 days... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

we talk and enjoy doing stuff togeather and she is available... date 3 wensday... and our dates are dinner off the BBQ... and talking or watching a DVD... I can aford that...


Jim

intresting tidbit... it appears the WW is contemplating sueing her ex H #1 for custody of her other kids... why now when she cant affort anthing? Only thing i can think of is to get child support or public assistance...

Man she is nuts.

jim

Well the end to this said chapter of my life is near, I directed my atty to wrap it up and expidite the Plan D and make her go away on Jul 9th.

I will take a finicial hit but should pull through. I spoke to my morgage broaker about refi my house to re-adjust the debt load and that looks promasing. Generally I feel pretty used and abused from it all, I would call her a leach or tick but that would be insult to insects.

I guess the good news is I am coming out of this in reasanably decent healthy emotionally. a lost smarter (no wounded ducks jim)

I owe a Big debt of gratatude to so many people here... Dog, Believer, Orchid, you pulled the lions share of the load, thank you I cannot repay you for what you have done.

I do want your Addresses offline, I will try to get a little something tasty to you you can only get them here...

To everyone else you also played you part and I am grateful to you as well...

Jim

no word from ATTY yet if the WW/STBX accepted. D day is T minus days and counting... The fat lady looks to be warming up for her final encore...

Jim