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Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 86
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Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 86 |
i have posted under just found out where you can resd my story and was directed her .
my desperation is two fold my wife is an alchoholic (not chronic)and she blames me for it (emotional torture )basicly she could not deal with my previous wife and daughter and i was weak.she has now had an affair ,ihave exposed the affair to the family and they are disgusted ,they have been used lied to etc .she has moved out and is continuing the affair ,i will be exposing it to her boss tommorow (it is with a co worker )her drinking is worse than ever .
i feel powerless to help her and i fear for her .this man has no idea what he is dealing with .we have a three year old boy together .i cant help with the drinking iknow but what do i do. i need a direction, a small glimmer of hope .
i still love and care for her like no other and feel powerless ...please help
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
??? can you be specific ??? what are you asking for?
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Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 86
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Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 86 |
do i focus on ending the affair by massive pressure or do i focus on directing the family cure the addiction i dont know sorry ...just some advice any thougths from people who have experienced this situation...
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
Well, because she has another addiction, Plan A is usually not going to be effective.
If I were your advisor, I'd tell 'ya to get a good Family Law attorney, and position yourself to gain full physical custody of your child
Drunks usually require massive amounts of painful consequences before they stop an affair
You may need to get custody ... so start to document her drinking in a hand-written diary that you date when you've made an entry.
Start going to Al-Anon.
Take the focus off of HER
and make you and your boy your priority
Allow her to fully fail at what she is doing .... do NOT stand in the way of any pain coming her way .... that pain is what can save her !
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
Agree with Pep, Plan A does not work wirh alcoholics. Expose her affair to all and protect yourself financially. Then go to Plan B. Alanon would be most helpful. Sorry you are here. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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