Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 295
K
Member
Member
K Offline
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 295
Post deleted by Knitgirl


Knitgirl
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 934
P
Member
Member
P Offline
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 934
Hello Knitgirl.

I’m sorry for your anguish and heartache. Welcome to MB’rs.

Can you call Dr. Harley for some MC?

It is critical in Plan B that you execute a near perfect performance.

You seem to have a grip on the notion that you can not have any recovery unless the A has ended.

Prepare yourself for there being a full blown physical and emotional affair. It’s a near certainty. You just referenced an emotional affair.

You are obviously educating yourself and have been working on busting up the A for a while. That’s an excellent start.

Have you EXPOSED this A to all of the important influential people in your H’s life? Exposure is usually the tool that kills the affair. Simultaneous exposure is the most effective.

You will get more traffic and help over on GQ2. If you would post your situation with background information over there it would help the pros help you the most.

Best regards,


Plank.

My "Feelings on Honesty", My "Reasons why:", The Affair World

Without MB we knew just enough about M to be danjrus.
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 3,490
M
Member
Member
M Offline
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 3,490
kg~

A similar thing happened to me ~ dday #1 was last May; we were in a false recovery for 10 months; dday #2 came when I found out that NC never started.

I went straight to a very dark Plan B. Here is my thread, it might help you:

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/sho...part=1&vc=1

The level of lying and deciet is not uncommon. My H was also telling OW that our M was just about over, blahblahblah. Then he'd come home to me and work on our "recovery". And lie, lie, lie to me about it being over.

It's very freaky, isn't it? Makes you wonder who you married, right?

You are doing the right thing by going to Plan B. Work on yourself while you are in it. DO NOT BREAK PLAN B, or the desired effect will not work.Do not have any contact with him.

You might want to post over on Just Found Out, or GQII. This board is really slow and you may not get much support.


Me,BW - 42; FWH-46
4 kids
D-Day #s1 and 2~May 2006
D-Day #3~Feb.27, 2007 (we'd been in a FR)
Plan B~ March 3 ~ April 6, 2007

In Recovery and things are improving every day. MB rocks. smile
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 295
K
Member
Member
K Offline
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 295
Plank and Marriedforever:

Thank you for your replies. I guess this level of deceipt is not uncommon after all. And yes it is freaky. I feel like I'm married to someone that I don't even know. The person that I thought I knew would never do this.

As far as exposure, I don't have too many options His only sibling lives out of state and they aren't close. No other real family to expose to. As far as OP, she lives 4 states away. She's single anyway, so who would care.

I don't know how to monitor this since he travels. I have no way of knowing if there is NC or not. I think MC is out of the question since I showed him my SAA book and he thinks it's all a bunch of BS.

MarriedForever - I'll read your background. It sounds like you had the same situation. How did you monitor it? Are you still together?

I'll post over on the other forum as both of you suggested...

Knitgirl


Knitgirl
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 79
P
Member
Member
P Offline
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 79
KnitGirl,

First off, no one ever deserves to be deceived...how your H can think he can keep his EA going and yet still be married to you bewilders the mind. He's being selfish, and clearly, you are suffering in the middle of it all.

If you want this marriage to work, your H has to make certain realizations on his own...and want to make it work with you. Otherwise, it's just a one-way effort. It's your H that needs to start rebuilding trust with you.

Without trust and respect, the M or any R for that matter, will never survive.

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 86
B
Member
Member
B Offline
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 86
Ouch. I'm so sorry for you. I know this pain too.
Here's my story:
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/sho...e=0#Post3275828

It may be helpful. How to deal, info to look for, etc.

Last edited by bobelina; 07/13/07 08:57 PM.
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 295
K
Member
Member
K Offline
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 295
Passionpeach & Bobolina,

Thanks for your replies. I've been over on the GQ discussion board and keep forgetting to check back over here. There doesn't seem to be much discussion on this one. After 2 false recoveries, I've gone to Plan B. I'll check out your threads here.


Knitgirl

Moderated by  Fordude 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 542 guests, and 71 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Zion9038xe, renki, Gocroswell, Allen Inverson, Logan bauer
72,026 Registered Users
Latest Posts
Annulment reconsideration help
by abrrba - 07/21/25 03:05 PM
Help: I Don't Like Being Around My Wife
by abrrba - 07/21/25 03:01 PM
How important is it to get the whole story?
by leemc - 07/18/25 10:58 AM
Following Ex-Wifes Nursing Schedule?
by Roger Beach - 07/16/25 04:21 AM
My wife wants a separation
by Roger Beach - 07/16/25 04:20 AM
Spying husband arrested
by coooper - 06/24/25 09:19 AM
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,624
Posts2,323,522
Members72,027
Most Online6,102
Jul 3rd, 2025
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 2025, Marriage Builders, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 8.0.0