I just found this site and thought it might help my marriage out.

I found out a few weeks ago that my dh had an affair with a friend of mine 5 years ago. This friends ex-husband called and told me because she was going to come to my house for a visit. Her and I kind of lost touch after she moved to a differant state. Little did I know it was mostly because her dh at the time threatened her to not get in touch with us.

My dh admitted it and apologized profusely. He swear that it has NEVER happened again. He said it was a one night thing. But then they met at a park 2 times after that and they kissed. Also there were a few phones calls after that. After that my dh deployed to the Middle East. That is why I think it was kept from me. I don't think if he had to look me and his daughter in the eyes everyday, it would have killed him.

My husband is a great guy. He is an awesome father to not only our daughter but also my daughter from a previous marriage. He has been a wonderful husband until I found out about this. He asks what he can do to fix this. I believe he is very sorry and wants to make things right.

So here is my problem. I can't get the pictures out of my mind. I have so many questions that he says he doesn't remember. I want him to suffer like I am suffering. I feel like I am in pain everyday and he just goes about his business. I didn't do wrong, he should be the way in complete misery everyday. How do we move on? We went to therapy for the 1st time last week but I don't think the lady we went to is going to be what I am looking for. My dh says I am looking for someone to yell at him and tell him that he was wrong. I said yes, but I also want to know how to move past this and to get a stronger relationship after it. When will the hurt go away? Will I dwell on it for the rest of my life? I have a tendency to hold onto things that are negative in my life. I need help. Any suggestions would be great.

Thanks in advance

wackiejackie,

Please read the post that I just made to smokeymountaingirl.

You are in a very similar situation that she is in.

Keep your chin up!

Welcome to marriagebuilders. The pain will last for around 2 years, but it won't be as bad as it is now. Your marriage will never be the same as it was before. But we hope that by reading the stuff here and making some changes, you can go on to an even BETTER marriage.

He does need to be willing to talk about things and answer your questions. That is essential.