T&B, just leave your pistol at home that day, ok? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />


Yes, you DO.

ML: Thanks for the advise and I will leave my pistol at home that day.

When WH brought the kids home last thursday he said we needed to talk about the separation papers. He thinks I should agree with whats in the papers about the kids and I said no. I told him that we can't shuffle the kids around like we have been and it's like they are moving in and out twice a week. He said I know but that's how it's going to be and I said no it's not you need to quit being selfish and think about your kids.

WH then asked me what I wanted to do with the house and I said if I can't get it refinanced in my name then we will sell it. WH said he would take it and I could have everything in it and I said no. I don't think it's fair for him to throw his family out and move another family in. I didn't tell him this. He is desperate because he has nowhere to go for now besides his stepmoms house and I'm sure that's getting old.

After WH left I took DS (10) out on the deck and told him I needed to talk to him. I asked him if he knew why daddy left and he said no. I told him daddy does not love or want to be with mom anymore and told him dad has a girlfriend and her name is ******** and she has a little girl. I told him that daddy still loves you guys very much and wants to be with you and spend time with you. I explained that when he got married he should never do this to his wife because it has hurt mom very much. Then I said G*d doesn't like this or agree with it and I explained what adultrey is.

After I finished talking to DS(10) he said mom there's a green tanktop in dads truck. I asked DS who's it was and he said dad said it was one of the guys he works with (not hardly). <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />
I don't think WH knows that I told DS(10) because he will be very mad I'm sure. I will tell WH that I just told him the truth and he deserves to know the truth.

The next morning I took the kids over to WH stepmoms house and she had to put her two cents in. She had a weekly schedule wrote out and told me I needed to decide onn a schedule. I told her that I was calling my attorney today and I will come up with a schedule after talking to him. I told her that the kids were not going to be shuffled around like they have been. She said i know "divorce stinks" and I said yes it does but I don't want the divorce WH and OW does and I called OW by name. She said I'm not worried about what OW wants and she has told WH that she does not agree with it.

WH stepmom also told me that on the days when I have the kids I could pay for daycare. She said this because I told WH that he had the kids way more than I did and he said no I pay my aunt to keep them during the day while we are at work. I told him that was his choice and they could go with him to work everyday just like they always have.

I think his stepmom should mind her own business but that's just the way she is. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

I also met OW husband on Friday night because he wanted a copy of WH cellphone bill. He has been calling my WH and giving him a hard time. He called his cellphone the other night and WH didn't answer and he left a message that said could you have my wife call me please. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

More to come!!!

T&B

TB, do you have an attorney yet?

ML, I do have an attorney and I left him 3 messages on Friday and he has not returned my calls. I have just been for the initial consult.

When I called to talk to the kids tonight WH answered the phone. I asked him how work was today and he told me all about it and then he asked me what I was doing. He also asked me when he could get the kids again. Then he asked what happened to the fish tank because DS(10) had told him something was wrong. He was kinda talkative tonight which is strange. He is bringing the kids home tomorrow night.

TB, I would speak to your atty and let him know that you don't want a divorce, don't want to be agreeable and want to drag this out and make it as hard as possible for your H to divorce you. Ask him to name the OW as an adultery partner and call her in for a deposition. The more you can drag this out and the more difficult, the more discouraged he will be and the more time you buy. Try to get full possession of the house with him paying the bills and paying huge child support. He needs to really suffer for his efforts.

I suspect the reason he wants to drag the kids over there as much as he does is so he doesn't have to pay as much child support, not because he has their best interest at heart. Since your H is in an adulterous affair and is living with his stepmom, I would ask that he get minimal visitation.

Are you prepared to put it to him in a legal action?

ML, I have told my atty that I don't want the seperation or divorce. When I went for the consult he got the OW name.

I agree with you about the kids and child support. I feel like his stepmom has alot to do with this. I think when and if WH gets his own place he will not want the kids as much because he will be "busy" with OW. In the seperation papers he says he wants joint custody and wants to pay half of what he should be paying in child support.

I am prepared for legal action for my kids. I have to protect them and do what's best for them because he's sure not got their best interest at heart.

T&B

His stepmom can kiss my BEHIND!

Mine too!!! She is something else.

Just a quick update!!

OW had a Doctors appt in the office where I work on 7/5/07 and she did show up for appt. I didn't think she would show up and was shocked when she did. She went out of her way to avoid looking at me. I told one of the girls that I work with that is my WH GF and I know she had to hear me but did not say anything.

WH has rented a house and is moving on Saturday. I asked him if OW was moving in with him and he said no. I told him I did not want our boys around her right now and he said they have not been.

We talked about the Separation papers and I told him what I
wanted. He just took notes and didn't agree to anything so I really don't know what his thoughts are.

He did finally confess that he has OW but still denies that's why he left, just a big coinsedence. WH knows that I told DS (10) and was not happy about that. I told him that I had to teach our boys that they couldn't do this when they got married and told WH that he was not setting a good example.

I also got WH new cell phone bill for this month. He has used way over his limit in minutes and owes a small fortune. OW has been calling him everyday between 12:00 am and 2:00 am for some reason. Then the phone calls start again at 6:00am and they talk throughout the day at all hours. WH still doesn't know that I am looking at cellphone bill online.

I am at work and will post more later. The drama continues......

The calling hours are strange. Is she married?

Believer:

OW is married but left her H the same time mine left. She is currently living with her dad and stepmom. She has also filed for Separation papers. I thought the calling hours are strange too and that's probably why WH looks tired all the time.

Have you notified her husband?

Yes I called OW husband 2-3 weeks ago and he already knew.

wh has rented a house and OW stays with him most of the time. I told WH that I didn't want our boys around OW and he promised me that they would not be. He came and got the kids on Sunday and will bring them home tonight.

A family member told me that the boys did meet OW on Sunday night. She also told me that WH and OW is drinking alot. I am not a happy camper!!!

When he brings the kids home tonight I am going to ask DS(10) if he did meet OW and then I'm calling WH. I'm going to tell him that he can see the kids a couple of days a week and spend some time with them but they are not spending the night with him. I bet OW is going to WH house after the boys go to bed.

OW has taken out a restraining order on her H for harassment. She is also telling everybody that her H is a wifebeater which I don't think is true.

Any Suggestions or advice would be helpful and appreciated!!

Hi TandBsmom,

I am in a similar situation to you. My WH recently moved in with OW and I have steadfastly told him that our DD's are not to meet the OW. I won't even let them visit his new house as I know that this will just be the first stepping stone to them meeting her and staying over.

WH says that OW will stay elsewhere when he has DD's but how long will she put up with being kicked out of her own home so that our DD's can spend time with WH. He still see's them every other weekend and twice during the week but he has to take them out and they return home to sleep. WH has told me that there is a bedroom ready for DD's stocked with TV, DVD, Internet etc but it's still a no go issue for me.

After about 3 weeks of debating the matter, WH said in an email that he can now see my POV on this matter so we have come to a truce for the time being. I'm no expert at all this but stick to your guns, don't let them use your kids as a way to legitimize their A.

Tarnsy