I dont know what to do?????? This is all so hard. In one moment it seems like we are begininning to get back into husband and wife, but suddenly he changes and its backwards again.

H has been having a hard time in MC because he is realizing that he himself is a huge part of our issues and he himself has a giant mountain of issues that have stemmed from his childhood etc. he feels overwelmed and as if he is a misfit to society.

That being said our last MC session yesterday went alright, however our MC asked if I lost interest in sex. I said Yes. Well tonight he sits me down and says he is deeply upset that I have recently told him I am not "in" love with him, and now he hears I lost interest in sex. he says its like feeding a dead horse and he has sooooooo much to overcome that maybe we are going in the wrong direction with trying to stay together. he also is having issues with the EA that I had and realized that it was over our last anniversary.

So I feel like we are at square one. I feel sad for him finding out from MC that he has so many issues and I can see why he would be overwelmed. I have been trying extra hard to be the nice wife, although I am still hurting deeply over the fact that he wanted me to sleep with others and liked my affair with his brother and so on.......

I feel like I have to swallow my feelings to get him through his. Of course he also stopped Paxil and started Zoloft (as per dr orders). They think that will help with suicidal thoughts tc.

I am so confused. What do I do now?????

J

Keep reassuring him that everything will be okay. Tell him you are not divorcing him, so you are just going to be patient and you'll eventually get through all of this, so get the notion of divorce out of your head. Tell him that even though you said that you weren't "in love" with him and wasn't interested in sex, that you know it will return when things start improving, but you "love" him and will continue to fight to save this marriage.