Hello everyone, first time poster here. Wee here is my story.
I'm 38 married W is also 38. We've been together since 15 and married 17 years. 2 boys who are the love of my life and my W life.
My wife left her job 3 years ago to go back to college to get her Nursing Deg. Around the same time my Mom passed away from Cancer. It was a very dark time for us. We were used to 2 incomes so now I had to work extra hard to provide for my family. I'm self employed and work ( worked ) long hours 9 AM - 9 PM
Back in 01/07 I found a cell phone in my W pocketbook. I asked who's it was and she just said a friend from college. She said " I'm not having a affair " I left the house in a daze. Later that night we talked, she said she didn't think I loved her anymore and wasn't meetting her needs because of my long work schedule ( I agree, I worked too much ) She said there was no physical contact but it was heading that way. We agreed to work on things and save the marriage.
No sllep, no appetiate for 2 mos and I thought it was over. Later I found out it was a guy from my kids football games who had become very close to her. As it turns out the affair was sexual and had been going on for over 1 year.
I've caught them together 2 x's since Jan. and she would meet him after her classes got out. His ex wife called me to tell me they were meeting again. I'm totally devastated. Flash ahaed, it's June, she said there's been no contact for about 2 months. We're in couples therapy together and I think things are going very well. Had it not been for the kids,I would have left I think. I just want to trust her again and don't want to have to resort to sneaking around to find out if she is for real this time. Any comments would be appreciated. Thanks

Welcome. Glad you found us.

You would be very foolish to trust someone who is a proven adulteress and liar. You will need to continue to verify no contact until she has a track record of being truthful.

While your wife is complaining that allowing her to go to school is causing you to work long hours and neglect her, I would sit down and have a talk with her. It seems to me that the two of you need to make some sacrifices to enable her to have a nice career. You might want to go to counseling and figure out why it is okay for you to sacrifice, and not okay for her.

Thanks for moving, MH1...where are the added answers to my post, eh?

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LA